Ron and the Night of the Monkeys
by writerzero
Summary: It's a special night for Kim. When a mission comes up to what extremes will Ron go through to preserve her special night? How will he deal with the monkeys on the way? How will he deal with her special night.


**I do NOT own Kim Possible.**

* * *

Situated some time after Ron visited Yamanouchi but before he and Kim became a couple.

* * *

**Tis a Stormy Night**

* * *

It was a stormy night. The sort of weather only those who were suicidal would dare venture out in. Yet the Middleton High gym was packed by those who feared Barkin more than the storm. The cheer squad was in desperate need of funds and one Kimberly Ann Possible had suggested a dance to raise some cash. Barkin had jumped on the idea and aside from setting the entrance fee at a _mere _twenty bucks had ordered every student of the school to 'be there or repeat a grade.' Needless to say few student doubted his word. So while wind gusts of a hundred and sixty kilometers per hour battered Middleton, and an estimated thirty centimeters of rainfall for the day attempted to wash out every road in the city, several hundred students had risked their lives and braved the elements. Steven Barkin was pleased with the turnout.

One figure sat in a corner of the gym, meditating. At least that is what Ron Stoppable was trying to do. A few seconds of meditation was the most he could handle before either some commotion in the gym distracted him, or his thoughts turned to just who wasn't in the gym. Kim and Josh had shown up, paid their entrance fee, and then promptly disappeared. Ron had a good idea of what they were up too and his mind just couldn't take it. Pushing the subject out of his mind was all he could do. Problem was it wouldn't stay out of his mind. He sighed as he recalled what he had saw earlier that Saturday morning, just a few hours before the storm had hit.

He had been out shopping. That wasn't unusual for him - his parents often left on trips and he was left to his own devices, including cooking for himself. For the evening meal he had planned on a Light Salade aux Lardons along with some Crispy Chicken Leg Confit with Couscous and Olives. Problem, no olives, so of to the store. There he had seen Kim dressed in a weird outfit, walking in a weird manner, head down, glancing nervously side to side. Neither villain nor villainess made Kim that nervous and that had made him pause in saying hi. Something he now regretted because then he wouldn't have seen what he thought he saw. Kim, standing at the counter, not seeing him a few steps to one side, pointing nervously at a rack behind that counter. A counter that contained only condoms.

He sighed again. He would rather have been in the dark than to know just how far Kim and Josh had progressed in their relationship. He focused on the glass in front of him, trying to empty his mind and meditate as Sensei had taught him. A crash somewhere in the gym provided another distraction. He sighed and look around. In the dark, the weather had knocked out the power leaving only a few emergency lights, he couldn't tell what had caused the commotion. And personally he couldn't care less. He returned to staring at the glass.

"All right people! Settle down!" Barkin's voice rose above the racket. While the turnout had pleased him the opportunities the dark provided for PDA, public displays of affection, did not.

Ron was amused, or at least as amused as he could be given the situation. He returned his focus back to the glass and tried to empty his mind. The Kimmunicator beeped. He sighed, again, and rubbed his head. He pulled the device out of his pocket and hit the button that would open the connection. Wade appeared on the screen.

"Hi Ron," the super genius greeted Ron and then continued, "You know where Kim is at? She has her Kimmunicator turned off and there's a situation that needs her attention."

"Hrm." Ron was deep in thought. _This would disrupt their ... plans ... for the night, _he thought.

"Isn't she at the dance?" Wade asked, confused by Ron's response.

"Nah. She didn't stay long."

"Oh." Wade seemed disappointed. "Where did she go?"

Ron considered. He had a good idea of where they would be but ... He sighed. _I'm AGAINST the idea of her doing THAT with HIM but ..._ Ron groaned.

"You all right Ron?" Wade asked.

Ron shrugged and continued his line of thought. _I wonder if it's her first time. If so ..._ He slammed his head against the table a few times.

"Ron! What's going in?" Wade's voiced shifted to sounding panicked. "Is Kim okay? Where is she."

Ron didn't answer. _She was nervous, _he thought, _very nervous._ And in his opinion a person who has done something a few times tended to lose any nervousness over it._ Her first time buying condoms, _he concluded. He also concluded that however infatuated Kim might over some boy toy she would never put herself at risk by having unprotected ... He couldn't even form the word in his mind. He sighed.

'Ron!" Wade's panicked voice drew his attention.

"Don't worry Wade, right now I bet Kim's feeling pretty okay." _To put it mildly, _he added to himself. "Just give me a second here."

"Okay."

Ron lowered his head and considered Kim. He sighed and closed his eyes to the tears that threatened to flow from them. _This is probably her first time and it's going to get ruined by a mission. That's good. Right? I mean ... _ Decided he raised his head. "What's the sitch, Wade?"

"Duff Killigan is at it again and at the moment global justice is busy with WEE. Sheldon is putting pressure on his sister with a few major plots, tying up their resources. Nothing Dr. Director can't handle but they don't have much manpower left over for minor stuff like Killigan."

"I see." Ron commented.

"So we need Kim to handle him." Wade concluded. "If you let me know where she's at I can reach her and get this mission started." Wade waited.

After a few seconds Ron spoke. "I don't think she's available for this mission Wade. Set up the ride. I'll handle it." He sounded as if the villain had defeated him already.

"Ron ..."

"Just set up the ride Wade. It's just Killigan." Ron interrupted him.

"But ..."

"The ride Wade or are you just going to sit there while Killigan hatches his nefarious plot?" Ron asked.

"But Ron ..."

Ron gritted his teeth. "Wade ... Set ... Up ... The ... Ride ... Now! ... Kim ... Not ... Available! ... Understand?"

Wade nodded. Not liking the scary look on Ron's face. "Ride will be in the parking lot in five minutes. There's no place to land at Killigan's so you're going to have to either parachute down or use a hand glider." He waited for Ron to freak out.

Ron just nodded and sighed. "Guess I better get going then. With the wind ..." He left the sentence unfinished and turned off the Kimmunicator, shoving it back in his pocket. _It's just Killigan, _he tried to reassure himself. _Who likes high explosive golf balls, _he added and sighed.

Ron reached the front entrance to the school and pushed at the door. It didn't budge. With the wind pressure outside pounding on it it was almost as if it was locked. Sigh. He pushed harder, then harder. Finally the door started to open, letting in the wind. It lifted him off his feet and slammed him into a wall. _Okay, at this rate the weather will finished me off before Killigan gets the chance, h_e thought, without much amusement. He approached the door again and with his ear against it listened. When the sound of the wind dropped between gusts he gave the door a push and dashed out, slamming them shut behind him, just as the wind picked him up again and sent him flying back into the door. He was drenched instantly and found breathing in the rain akin to breathing underwater. He wondered how long he could last.

A large black shape dropped out of the sky. Thankfully it landed close to the school. blocking the wind else Ron would never have reached it. The cargo hole doors opened and Ron dashed inside, grateful to be out of the elements once again. The doors closed and he felt the aircraft take off. He wondered how it could fly in such a storm but was too weary with his own battle with the storm to give it much though. He noted the hand glider he would be using and briefly checked it out. Beside it was the Wade-bot. _That, _he decided, _will be useful. _Going up against any villain alone wasn't something he really wanted to do.

Then, looking around, knowing it would be a few hours to Killigan's lair, he dropped to the floor, soaking wet, and was instantly asleep.

**Killligan**

* * *

Beep! Beep! Beep! The sound was irritating and annoying, though nothing that Ron Stoppable couldn't have slept through if he had so desired. Instead he decided being awake was preferable to his dreams of Kim and monkey-boy embracing, panting heavily, ... He shuddered and took a few seconds to clear his mind before answering the Kimmunicator. "So what's Killigan up to Wade?" He asked before Wade could get a word in.

Wade was relieved. First at getting Ron to wake up with so little effort and second that he actually wanted to know the details of the mission. "He stole a super plant growth formula last week that will make any weed, including grass, grow to a hundred times their normal size."

"Last week?" Ron queried?

"Yeah, the scientists who developed it weren't sure if they had just misplaced it or if it had actually been stolen. They only just reported it as missing yesterday and the guards checked the security cameras. It was Killigan."

"Why didn't the scientists check the security tape themselves?" Ron asked.

Wade shrugged. "They didn't think of it."

"Oh." Ron wasn't sure what to think of that.

"Anyway," Wade continued. "The guards found it had been stolen and reported it to Global Justice who had planned to get it back but then Sheldon started making trouble so Dr. Director called me. Then there was a break in at the Scotland School for Gifted People. One of the students there was developing a model rocket that could reach an attitude of over 200 kilometers. If Killigan uses the rocket he can disperse the formula over the entire globe."

"And that would be bad?" Ron wondered out loud. If the grass grew like that it would be uncuttable. No more mowing the lawn. That he decided might be almost enough to make him join Killigan rather than stop him.

Wade, not knowing what was going through Ron's mind answered. "Of course it would be bad. Golfing as a sport would be wiped out, not to mention every food crop in the world as the weeds would make growing them impossible."

"Ah. So he has to be stopped." Ron concluded, saddened at the prospect that he would have to continue mowing the lawn until some far distant point in the future when he went off to culinary school.

"Ron, I can get Kim here in a few hours if you tell me ..."

Ron yawned. "No can do. When do we reach the drop-off point."

"In ten minutes. Weather there shouldn't be too bad but be prepared. On the bright side I got the Wade-bot ready to help out."

Ron nodded. "I appreciate that Wade." He closed the connection and went to recheck the glider.

Clicks and beeps came from the Wade-bot as it went through some sort of check list. Finally a few minutes before the drop Wade's face appeared on its monitor like head. "Ready Ron?" It asked.

Ron nodded and the world dropped away from beneath him as the cargo hole doors opened and they were both whipped outside by the wind. Ron peered down through the rain trying to locate Killigan's lair. _Or should I call it a castle, _he wondered. Either way the ground below was almost invisible to him. The wind tossed him around, making any attempt to steer impossible.

Flashes of lightning lit the sky, the only light to be seen Thunder roared around him like concussion grenades. _Not good, _Ron thought. Then several lightning strikes struck down from the sky and hit the same point on the ground. For a brief second Killigan's lair was outlined. _Lightning striking the lightning rod for the castle, _Ron concluded. _Lucky me for seeing that. Of course at this attitude I'm the number one target for the lightning. _Suddenly, less than ten meters in front of him the Wade-bot was outlined as bolt after bolt of lightning poured into it. After the nineteenth bolt it exploded, sprinkling Ron with molten bits of metal. _Okay, make that the number one target as of now._ He swallowed.

Knowing it was useless to try and glide down in a normal matter he pointed the nose of the glider down and let it fall, just trying to guide it enough to keep it aimed at the lair, but still ninety percent out of control. With the lightning losing attitude quickly was of vital importance.

He fell down through the rain and wind at over a hundred kilometers per hour. Lightning struck all around around. Including the lighting rod of the lair again a few times, allowing him to at least keep its general location in mind.

It seemed to take forever, the falling. He discovered a sudden need to use the washroom. An urgent need to scream filled his whole being. Yet he didn't take his eyes of the ground, or at least where he thought the ground was. A lightning strike lit up the area and he found he was closer to the ground than he had expected. Way closer. Now he did scream in terror and tried to raise the nose of the glider, using it as a parachute. He felt it tremble as he did so and through the vibrations thought he felt something in the glider snap. He was moving forward now as well as downward. Then he was moving over the ground, just a meter or so above it, at a speed high enough to do serious damage if he crashed or tried to land. _Lair is close, real close, _some instinct told him and he tried to pull the glider up, away from the ground. A gust of wind nearly knocked him senseless but he saw the walls of the lair, the walls he had nearly smashed into. He flew upward and saw the walls end, he pulled out of the climb, trying for the roof. He dropped. Down. Down. Screaming he hit the roof and the wind suddenly died out. Just enough of a breeze to move the glider a little.

Ron looked around. The walls of the castle were just high enough to provide some protection from the wind where he was at. Unbuckling himself from the glider he used some rope to lash it to a post whose purpose he didn't know and didn't care to know about. Then he dropped to the roof of the lair and kissed it.

A door clearly marked the roof entrance to the lair and he headed for it. Once inside, again out of the elements, he sighed in relief. He sighed in relief even more when he noted that upon entering the lair the door to his left led to a bathroom. With the fear induced need to pee taken care of he turned on the Kimmunicator.

Wade's face immediately filled it. "You okay Ron?" He yelled.

"Yeah Wade, though that isn't something I want to repeat any time soon. Only thing scarier than that would be a barrel full of monkeys."

"Sorry. Knew there was a storm on, but it wasn't that bad when you left Middleton and I was busy with the Wade-bot, doing some software upgrades. I didn't recheck the weather when the jet arrived." Wade's face turned white. "Ron, I could have got you killed. It was a stupid mistake on my part. I just assumed the weather reports would be right and that the storm would have cleared up some, not be that much worse."

Ron shrugged. He knew why the super genius made the mistake. Kim wasn't on the mission and that was worrying him.

"Where are you now?" Wade asked.

"Just inside the roof entrance. Going to try and be quiet and get either the rocket or the growth formula before he realizes I'm here."

Wade nodded. "That model rocket was just a cheap prototype so no need to take it, just smash it. Same with the growth formula, just pour it down the drain if you can - salt neutralizes it. Had hoped to track the rocket using the Wade-bot but ..."

Ron nodded. "That would have been useful. This place is huge. About how much time you figure before he tries to use them?"

"A day or two. Not until the storm clears up."

"Plenty of time. Guess I will be off then. Later Wade."

"Good luck Ron." Wade replied.

Ron turned off the Kimmunicator.

He crept through the lair, trying to be as quiet as possible. The upper floor seemed to be nothing but a few bedrooms and the bathroom he had already gratefully used. With that section of the lair fully searched he headed down a level.

The first room of the level made him stagger. He fell backwards, barely holding in a scream. Clamping a hand over his mouth and nose he turned and ran several paces before dropping to his knees. _Oh God, _he thought, _what sort of weapon has Killigan cooked up in that room._ With trembling fingers he pulled out the Kimmunicator and called Wade.

"Wade, Killigan has cooked up some sort of poisonous gas and I inhaled some. Can you run a few checks."

"Sure Ron, just scan yourself with the Kimmunicator." Wade hurriedly punched buttons and read readouts, his fingers trembling only a little as he wondered if he had already killed Ron by letting him go on this mission alone. His nerves settled down as he completed the task.

"I don't detect anything wrong with you Ron. You sure it was poisonous gas?"

"If it wasn't it was something pretty close to it Wade. If I hadn't managed to get away from that room pretty quick I wouldn't be around anymore. Stunk worse than a barrel of monkeys and made me light headed."

"Hrm. I need a sample of the gas but if you can't get into the room ..." Wade half muttered.

"Just a second." Ron thought for a moment and then grabbed a spear from a suit of armor that just happened to be conveniently placed a few steps away. Lashing the Kimmunicator to the spear with his belt he held one hand over his mouth while he approached the room as close as possible and thrust the spear inside. After a few seconds he withdrew it.

"Get anything Wade?" He inquired after taking a minute to recover.

"Getting some pretty weird readings. Not sure what they mean but ... ah ... I think I know what you smelt Ron. It's not a toxic gas after all. In fact it's pretty good for you."

"**GOOD **for me? Ron practically yelled before managing to tone down his voice.

"Yeah, it just seems to be an extra strong batch of Killigan's special haggis." Wade, not having to smell the fumes from said haggis didn't see what the issue was.

Ron shuddered and turned away from the room. If the rocket or the plant growth formula was through that door then it could stay there. People he decided could just learn to develop recipes that made use of weeds in the free time they would have from not needing to mow lawns. _Hell, _he thought, _I'm practically a world class chef. I can make anything taste good, even weeds. Well, anything but haggis ... and meat pies._ He hurried away to check the next room, still pale from his close encounter to a fate worse than death.

The rest of the rooms were ordinary. Sort of. Suits of armor, weird furniture, strange tapestries on the wall. But no rocket or plant growth formula. Sighing he headed down the stairs to next level of the lair.

"Where have ya been sonny? Ya got on the roof half an hour ago and you're just now coming down?" Duff Killigan spoke from the room below just as Ron was halfway down the stairs.

Ron froze. "An half hour?" He asked.

"Well twenty-seven minute gives or take a few." Came the reply from the mad golfer.

Ron, sure he had been quiet, except for that one exclamation over the haggis, wondered how the man could know the time he had entered the lair so precisely.

"When ya flush the upper loo it make a racket down here." Answered the mad golfer, as if reading the sidekick's mind.

"Oh. Well, it was sort of an emergency." Ron felt the need to explain.

"Where's the lassie by the way?" Killigan asked.

"She was busy with something." Ron replied.

"Oh!" The man seemed disappointed. "And after I went through all the trouble of figuring out her weakness." He sighed.

"Her weakness?" Ron wondered what the mad villain had come up with.

Killigan nodded. "Was talking with the other villains during the annual villains all you eat get together cookout and a few of them let a few hints drop. I put them together." He seemed proud.

"What was the weakness?" Ron prodded the man some more.

"Monkeys!" Killigan prompted answered.

"Monkeys?" Ron repeated, his face turning pale. Even paler than when he had smelled the haggis.

"Yeah, but since she's not here, guess I can't use my monkey balls on her."

Relief flooded Ron's mind. _Just so long as he doesn't realize ..._

The thought was interrupted as Killigan asked. "What's ya name by the way sonny? Sorry, but it seems to have slipped my mind."

Ron sighed and ran a hand through his still wet hair. "Does it matter? It will just slip your mind again once I'm gone."

"Tis not polite to kill someone whose name ya don't know sonny. Tell me your name and we can get started." Killigan pulled out a golf club and dropped a golf ball on the ground.

"If I don't tell you my name does that mean you won't kill me?" Ron was hopeful.

"No, you did break into my lair and I can guess what you're after sonny. But still, it just ain't right." He swung at the ball.

Ron jumped off the stairs just as the ball exploded in the spot where he had been.

"Quick reflexes sonny. But not good enough." Killigan dropped three more golf balls on the ground and his club became a blur as he swung three times, sending the balls flying at Ron.

Ron dropped to the floor and the three balls exploded over his head. Close by, but still far enough away that they only made his ears ring. _What did Sensei say about fighting, _he tried to recall. _Adrenaline is your friend, fear is your enemy! _That much he recalled. Adrenaline enhanced both reflexes and strength. Good. Fear dulled the mind. Bad.

Three more balls came flying at him and he realized just lying there thinking wasn't going to do him much good. He rolled to one side and grabbing a chair tossed it between him and the balls. It became a mess of splinters as the balls hit it.

"My favorite chair!" Killigan yelled and turned a red color. He dropped a half dozen balls on the ground. "You will pay for that sonny." The golf club became a blur.

Ron ducked under a table and flipped it up in front of him. The table joined the chair as a mess of splinters on the floor.

"My favorite table!" Killigan turned even redder. More golf balls were dropped on the ground.

No where to run, no where to hide, Ron felt a calm settle on him, though the adrenaline still flooded his veins. He began to meditate on Killigan. _This is what Sensei tried to teach me, _he recalled. _Though I only managed to enter this state a couple of times while at Yamanouchi._ The meditation deepened, with Killigan as its focus.

Ron watched the mad golfer as the adrenaline washing through his veins seemed to slow time. Every movement, from the twitch of an eye to the swinging golf club was calmly noted and analyzed. A slight smile appeared on Ron's face, yet his expression spoke of a seriousness that few would have associated with the sidekick.

The golf swung but Ron was already moving out of the way of the exploding golf ball. The mad golfer's stance, the way he swung the club, everything about him already told Ron the path the ball would take and with a move that was graceful yet somehow seemed primitive he moved. The ball missed him by two feet. The mad golfer swung again and again Ron moved.

Muttering the mad golfer opened a bag and dropped his whole collection of regular exploding golf balls to the floor. Madly, he began to swing.

Ron moved. Avoiding each ball slightly. Each movement seemingly a step in a dance from an age long since past. Step after step as he calmly watched the movements of the villain. Once the speed with which the balls came at him seemed to box him in yet he just calmly reached out and gently nudged one of the balls out of way. The touch gentle enough to open a path for him without setting off the golf ball.

Duff Killigan rested on his club, out of breath. "Sonny boy, either you've gotten better or I'm getting old." He reached into a bag that only a few minutes before had held a hundred and twenty golf balls. It was empty. "Guess I get to try out my new monkey balls on you and I was so hoping to try them on the lassie first."

At the mention of monkeys Ron's calm evaporated. All that Sensei had taught him similarly evaporated from his mind. Gulping he held up an hand that asked for a time out.

"What is it sonny? I don't have all day."

"Ah! .." Ron stuttered, trying to think of a way out of the situation. "Just who did you get those hints from? The ones for the monkey balls."

"That would be Monkey Fist, me boy. He spent the whole time at the annual villains all you eat get together cookout rambling on about some pretender to the monkey something or other... Not a pretty sight to see a grown man babble like that I tell ya sonny. But he did mention this pretender was afraid of monkeys so I came up with the monkey balls."

"Hrm. And you think Kim is this pretender he was talking about?" Ron asked.

"Who else could it be, sonny? She's the one who always foiled our plots. Guess I can at least give those monkey balls a test spin." He reached into a bag.

Ron shuddered and held up his hand.

"What is it this time sonny? I don't have all day."

"Hrm." He was curious and curiosity was what killed the cat, yet Ron just had to ask. "What do you mean by monkey balls?"

"You will see." The mad golfer answered back. He pulled a large golf ball from another bag he carried. It was much larger than an ordinary golf ball and also was colored a bright blue. He dropped it on the floor and swung at it with his club.

Ron dodged. From its speed he guess it must weight a lot more than a normal golf ball. That and its size made it easier to dodge.

"It ain't over yet sonny." The mad golfer grinned.

Ron turned to look behind him, trying to locate the golf ball, which he now realized hadn't exploded yet, while also trying to keep the villain in sight. He spotted the ball. Or what thought was the ball. That ball now had a miniature monkey's tail poking out. As he watched a leg and then an arm popped out of the ball. Both resembling those of a monkey.

Ron's blood froze. His breathing stopped. His heart raced. Cold sweat ran down his back. The ball popped out another monkey's leg and then another monkey's arm. A scream began to rise in his throat. A monkey's head popped out of the ball. A head that turned and looked Ron right in the eye with an evil grin. The monkey ball moved, halving the distance between it and Ron before Ron could realize it.

Ron's fear exploded. Screaming he grabbed all that remained of the destroyed table from the ground. A badly damaged leg. Then Ron became a mad golfer himself, swinging the club wildly again and again as the monkey ball approached him. The mad swinging kept it at a distance for a few seconds, then it made a dash in. Ron screamed again and swung with all his might, eyes closed. He felt the club make contact and opened his eyes to see the monkey ball flying through the air, just missing Killigan and hitting the wall behind him. Surprisingly it vanished through what seemed like a solid stone wall, making a small hole as it did so.

"Huh?" Ron muttered, still in fear mode. Then the wall exploded.

Killigan stared at the now vanished wall and sighed. "All that work to hide the room with the rocket and ye went and ruined it sonny boy. The lassie always ruins my plots but this time I hid the workroom with the rocket and plant growth formula." He dropped a half dozen monkey balls on the ground and stared at Ron. "Only this time it was ruined by her bumbling sidekick. Ye was lucky sonny, but now ye luck has run out." He began to swing.

Ron turned and ran. _Mission accomplished, _he thought. _Now to put my mad running skills to use._ He ran up the stairs screaming, six tiny monkeys, in pursuit.

Seeing a vase of flowers he grabbed it and tossed it between him and the monkeys. Two of them tried to run through the pool of water from the vase and sparks began to pop out of them. Ron continued running. _He's good with the explosives but not so good with the robotics yet if he didn't waterproof them. So I just need to get to the roof top and rain will take care of them. But then where do I go. It's the roof and a dead end, unless I use the glider again, ... in this weather. _Ron gulped. Screamed, and kept running. Even the glider in this storm was better than monkey balls.

He reached the roof and raced out onto it. Behind him four puffs of smoke showed where the monkey balls had braved the rain and been annihilated. Seeing the glider he hurried and untied it. Buckling himself in he wondered where the mad golfer was and why he hadn't caught up with him yet. Then he turned and jumped over the wall that had been providing some protection from the elements. The wind immediately took him and he decided to continue screaming.

The wind took him and tossed him, along with the glider, into the air. Higher and higher. The thunder and lightning still roared and flashed around him. He expected to die at any moment, until suddenly a dark shape appeared before him and he was flung into it by the wind. The wind and rain disappeared and he dared to look around. The cargo hole of the jet he realized. It must have been waiting to pick him up and the pilot had let the wind toss him into it with the cargo hole doors opened. They were closing now. Blocking out the elements.

Ron sank to his knees in relief. It was over. Soon he would be back in Middleton. He would let the jet drop him off near his home. Soon he would be shoveling leftover food into his mouth and checking on Rufus. The naked mole rat had tried to go to the dance along with Ron but the rain had filled Ron's pockets with enough water that the poor little rodent had almost drowned. After three attempts get to the dance he had gave up and settled back with a platter of cheese.

Ron settled back onto the floor and took out the Kimmunicator. A quick check-in with Wade, a short nap while the jet delivered him to his home... He turned the Kimmunicator on and opened the connection to Wade.

"Ron? You okay? Jumping off the roof like that was dangerous." The super genius was obviously worried.

"No worries Wade. The rocket and the formula both went up in flames. One of his golf balls set of the fuel for the rocket. Or I guess it did. There was a sizable explosion in the room where the rocket and fuel was kept."

"That's a relief Ron. Anyway, something has come up and we need Kim. If you would just let me know where she's at I can contact her and get you two together for your next mission." The super genius waited patiently for Ron to reveal the location of Kim.

Ron sighed. _I wonder, _he thought, _just how much of a super genius Wade can be if he thinks I'm revealing Kim's location now. After all this. _"No can do Wade." He finally replied. "What's the sitch?" He pushed his dreams of being dry again, of stuffing his face, away and focused his attention on Wade.

**Monkey Fist**

* * *

"Ron, we need Kim for this next mission. It's Monkey Fist and you know he's a better fighter than Killigan. Not to mention his legion of monkey ninjas. You don't do so well around monkeys."

_Monkeys! Again! _thought Ron with a sigh. "You know Wade, Monkey Fist is my nemesis, not Kim's. I'm the so called pretender. Just what is he up to this time? Another monkey scroll, or a monkey idol, or a monkey amulet?" Ron shuddered.

"He stole an ancient relic from the Museum of Natural History, the relic is supposed to have the power to summon an ancient monkey god. No one has figured out the name of the god yet or what that god is supposed to be capable of but Monkey Fist having that power isn't good. We can't risk anything here Ron, we _need _Kim."

Ron gritted his teeth. "Weird isn't it Wade? Before we started those missions I would never have believed in something like relics able to summon gods."

Wade nodded. "But everything can be explain by science." He assured Ron.

"Oh, so summoning a god is science?" Ron prodded the super genius.

Wade nodded again. "Just because I haven't figured out how it works yet doesn't mean it's ... ummm ... magic." He had trouble getting the word magic out.

"Ah. Anyway Wade, I felt something in the glider break when I was landing on Killigan's roof. Mind guiding me on how to fix it? I assume there's a repair kit somewhere handy?"

"There is Ron, a small packet strapped to the glider itself..." For the next hour Wade guided Ron on repairing the glider. He was amazed at the skill Ron showed during the repairs.

Ron worked on the repairs, halfway content. If there was one thing he was good at it was crafts and this was sort of like that. He probably didn't even need Wade's help, but giving the instructions was a distraction to the super genius. So used to Ron being a klutz he focused on giving such detailed step by step instructions that he had no time left over to think about Kim. Ron occasionally looked at the Kimmunicator, seeing the weird distracted look on Wade's face. _That and trying to figure out how magic fits in a world of science is really getting to him, _Ron thought. _By the time we're finished here I will be at Monkey Fist's lair and it will be too late for him to get Kim on the mission._

"You're at the target site." Wade informed Ron, just as the repairs were completed. "Weather is pretty bad. You sure you want to use the glider to land?"

Ron nodded. "Any lightning?." He had timed the completion of the repairs to the minute.

"None. Wind is pretty high though. And the rain is heavy. Weird that all three areas, Middleton, Killigan's lair and Monkey Fist's lair, are all having such bad weather."

"Think I will stick with the glider then, assuming the jet can't land. Can it? Ron agreed with the genius, such weather in all three spots was weird.

"Sorry, it can't. Too many trees. It's glider or parachute."

"Glider then." Ron replied and strapped himself in. "Ready." He announced when finished and the doors opened. This time while the wind was bad it didn't rip him out of the jet. Instead he had to force himself to jump out.

Once outside the wind took him. _Bad, _he thought as the storm roared around him and he was immediately soaked after having just started to dry off from his raid on Killigan's lair. Still there was no lightning and the clouds did let a little bit of light through. He let the glider fall downward once more, just keeping enough control to keep it aimed at a single stone building surrounded by forest. Monkey Fist's current lair.

As he approached the lair he calmly stopped the downward spiral and swooped towards the lair. After landing at Killigan's lair the terror he felt landing here was manageable. _If only there weren't monkeys waiting, _he thought. Dropping below tree level the wind immediately died out. Seeing two monkey ninjas, who had probably been guarding the entrance, racing towards him he reluctantly faced his fear, and the need to flee, to raise the glider above the tree tops again and race away. Instead he turned towards them and let his momentum slam his feet into them. They went flying and the action finally stopped the glider, crashing him into the ground. In seconds he was unstrapped and on his feet running towards to lair. _Wrong way, _his mind screamed at him. He ignored the voice and kept on running.

He ran into the lair, hoping he could make a quick, desperate raid before Monkey Fist could react. He failed.

"Monkey ninjas attack!" Came the order from the genetically modified man standing in the middle of the lair. In his hand he held a glowing orb that was the relic.

Ron immediately turned and began to run around the lair screaming, "Monkeys! Monkeys! Help! Monkeys!" From various places in the lair monkeys turned towards him and gave chase. "Monkeys! Monkeys!" Ron continued to scream and kept running.

Monkey Fist stood in the center of the lair observing the scene. He sighed and rubbed his monkey-like hand against his forehead. He sighed again. He continued to look at the scene and spoke to himself. "Got to remember some Advil for the next plot. How can someone with mystical monkey powers ..." He stopped speaking for a while and then added. "Oh well. Might as well continue while they keep him busy."

"Monkeys! Monkeys!" The cries continued as Ron raced around the lairs. The monkeys were neither gaining nor losing ground in their chase.

"Aa Um Um Pa Um Um Ca Um Um Ta Um Um Oa Um Um Qa Um Um Xa Um Um." Monkey Fist began his chanting and the orb in his hand changed colors as the chant continued.

Ron heard the chanting and knew he was in trouble. As so often happened when around Monkey Fist, he felt that strange state begin to occur once again. The calm. The adrenaline. The fear was still there, but a state of meditation began to flow through him, putting the fear in its proper place. He became acutely aware of his surroundings. Where each and every person, or monkey, was and how they were moving. And strangely enough the chanting itself seemed to aid the affect, to intensify it.

Ron suddenly stopped running and turned. The first monkey to reach him carried a bo staff. Ron effortlessly grabbed one end of the staff and flipped the monkey towards Monkey Fist. Monkey Fist dodge the projectile, but the chanting, to Ron's relief, stopped. A twirl of the staff sent three more monkeys flying. The rest gathered around him and tried to swarm him. Ron dodge the attack by jumping and swept away two more of the monkeys.

Monkey Fist watched. He knew that the pretender would now be able to handle the monkeys. How he could use the Mystical Monkey Power with his fear of monkeys was a mystery, but he was doing so as he had in the past. Monkey Fist also knew that if he let the fight continue his monkey minions would get hurt and be unable to fight for several days. Frustrated he watched the fight as two of the monkeys previously swept down got their feet and join the fight, only to be knocked down again.

The fight continued while Monkey Fist considered what to do. A monkey almost hit him as it flew past. It was up in a few seconds, running to get back in the fight. Many men, Monkey Fist knew, would without thinking obliterate anything that they feared. Reactively and instinctively. The pretender, much as he feared monkeys, did not act in such a manner. With the staff, aided by the Mystical Powers of the Monkey, he could have easily killed all twelve of the attacking monkeys with twelve simple strikes. Yet Monkey Fist knew he would not do so. The fight would end with all twelve monkeys soundly beaten since they would not give up until they were unable to continue the fight, but at the same time all twelve would still be alive and would be back on their feet in a few days. Another monkey flew past him. Monkey Fist sighed and issued the command, "Monkey ninjas, gather." They monkeys broke of their attack and gathered around him.

Ron froze, turned and stood, staring across the mass of monkeys at Monkey Fist.

"We meet again, pretender." Monkey Fist spoke.

Ron shrugged. "If only my fear of monkeys was pretend I would be a lot happier."

"That fear makes you unworthy of the Mystical Monkey Powers." Monkey Fist answered.

"I'm not exactly too happy to have mystical anything when it's related to monkeys." Ron shuddered.

Monkey Fist sighed. How the buffoon could beat him so many times using the very powers he was afraid of mystified him. It was unnatural.

"What's that do?" Ron asked, pointing at the orb.

"It summons the great monkey god, AAUMZA. With this orb I will be able to call him at any time to do my bidding. I will be unbeatable."

"Not the first time you've claimed that something will make you unbeatable." Ron shrugged. "Still something always goes wrong for you."

Monkey Fist scowled. "True. But I've only got to get lucky once whereas you've got to beat me every time. The odds are in my favor pretender."

"True." Ron admitted.

"Shall we?" Monkey Fist asked. He placed the orb on a pedestal.

Ron sighed. "Like it would do me any good to say no." He replied.

The monkeys watched as the two masters of Monkey Kung Fu began their battle. Monkey Fist was aggressive. He launched blow after blow at Ron who dodged or parried them while backing away. It was a strange fight, seemingly crude and primitive, yet elegant. Two two circled the room, Ron backing away from the fight.

"Stand still and fight me buffoon." Monkey Fist growled.

"What's in it for me?" Ron asked.

"A quick and painless death." Came the reply.

"Like that is going to convince me." Ron answered, breathing hard. Monkey Fist he noted was breathing hard too.

"Would you rather slow and painful?" Monkey Fist asked, launching a flurry of attacks.

"Personally I would prefer an option that lets me live." Ron parried several of the attacks from Monkey Fist and backed away another step.

"Bow before me and I will let you live on as my slave." Monkey Fist tried to be reasonable.

Ron sighed and backed back another step. "The getting to live part is tempting but somehow the whole slave part ruins it."

"Your choice." Monkey Fist leapt into the air and launched an attack with his genetically modified feet.

Ron dodged and took the chance as the the attack carried Monkey Fist several feet away. Turning, using his mad running skills, still powered by the Mystical Monkey Powers he raced to the pedestal, grabbed the orb, and fled out of the lair. From behind him he heard the order "Monkey ninjas attack!"

Monkey fist regained his footing and after giving the order muttered to himself. "Should have seen that coming." He slapped a hand against his forehead and sighed before giving chase himself. He nearly ran into his monkey minions as the door to the lair shut. Several of the monkeys ran head long into the door.

Ron had paused outside of the lair, wondering where to run. The whole area was forest. With the Mystical Monkey Powers fading his Ronness came back and he saw a lever. _Wonder what it does, _he wondered and pulled it. The lair door shut. _Well, that's good, but how to keep it shut, _he pondered. He grabbed a branch and used it to jam the lever just as he heard the door start to whine and try to open.

Inside Monkey Fist had pulled the inside lever to open the door and heard the same whine. He also heard something snap within the door and realized it would be some time before anyone managed to get out that way again.

With the calmness gone Ron's fear of monkey's drove him. He grabbed the glider and rushed up the slope of the lair, somehow managing to get strapped in just as the wind caught the glider and he was practically flung into the air as through propelled by a catapult. Less than a minute later the dark shape of the jet appeared and he was inside.

Inside he watched the doors of the cargo hole close. _Who ever is the controls of this things has some pretty amazing skills, _he realized. _To be able to maneuver the jet like that and snatch me out of the air twice. Wonder who it is. Anyway, time to report in._ Ron pulled out the Kimmunicator and turned it on.

Wade's face immediately appeared. "You okay?" He asked.

Ron nodded. He held up the orb. "This the missing relic?" He asked in reply.

"Thank goodness! Did some research and found out that orb doesn't just summon a god. When it's activated it will also turns everyone into monkeys under that god's rule." Wade was pale.

Ron went paler and nearly fainted. _A few minutes later getting to that lair and I would have been a monkey._ He shuddered. Vaguely he heard Wade asking if he was okay.

"Wade, please don't mention the word monkeys to me ever again." He replied. "Or the word Mankey for that." He added. "Anyway, how long back to Middleton?"

"Well, Ron, you see ..."

"What is it Wade?"

"Well, there's a problem that's come up and we need Kim to solve it. DNAmy has started mutating ... well ... that word you said never to say." Wade looked apologetic.

**DNAmy**

* * *

"DNAmy is mutating Mankeys?" Ron asked. Personally he didn't see anything wrong with that. Any mutated Mankey would have to be a step up from that one current Mankey that came to mind.

"No, the other word you said not to mention." Wade replied.

"Oh." Ron realized. "She's mutating monkeys."

Wade nodded. "Where's Kim Ron? Why this insistence on doing the missions without her?"

Ron was in shock. "More monkeys." He muttered.

"Hey Wade, who's flying this thing? They're pretty amazing whoever they are."

"Um." Wade was taken back by the sudden change in subject. "A second." The image on the Kimmunicator wavered and disappeared only to be replaced a second later by the picture of a young woman, more of a girl, around the same age as he and Kim. Shoulder length brown hair that seemed a little plain but when contrasted to her piercing blue eyes and a mouth that was turned up in a slight smile, holding a hint of mischievousness... Ron felt his breath being taken away.

"That's Jacklyn Camberson. She's GJ's top pilot and a prodigy at flying just about anything. They might not be able to spare much manpower but they did manage to free up this jet and her to pilot it." Wade explained.

Ron nodded. "Tell her the way she pilots this thing is unbelievable. And tell her thanks for plucking me out of the air like that."

"Will do Ron, now where's Kim?"

"So, just what is DNAmy cooking up this time Wade?" Ron asked.

Wade sighed as his own question was ignored. "She's creating an army of mutated monkeys. So far she's only mutated one."

"What's she going to do with them?" Ron asked.

"I think, not sure but I think, when she has the army ready she's going to confess her love to Monkey Fist and give him the monkey army as a gift."

"Oh." Ron shrugged. "So it's just the one monkey so far? If we strike quick we might manage this before she gets around to creating the army. Guess we better ask Jacklyn to get us there soon as possible."

"But what about getting Kim?" Wade asked, resigned to whatever response Ron gave.

"Oh. She's pretty busy I think. Let's not bother her. Besides, by the time we get to Middleton and then to the lair DNAmy will have created her army. On top of that she might have called Monkey Fist there. So it would be two armies to fight. Her army of mutated monkeys and Monkey Fist's army of monkey ninjas. The monkey ninjas might have a few bruises but they can still fight. Plus Monkey Fist can fight as well while DNAmy isn't much of a fighter personally."

Ron gave his rundown of the situation and Wade had to agree. _If only the Wade-bot hadn't went boom!, _he thought. "Be there in thirty minutes." Wade finally said. "You only need to destroy the device she using, the DNA Mutator 1.0 I think she's calling it."

"Weather report?" Ron asked.

Wade frowned. "Weird, but the weather there is pretty bad too."

Ron sighed. _Wonder if I can patented sighs, _he wondered. _Anyone beats me to that and I will have to pay them a bundle in royalties._ "Killigan bad or Monkey Fist bad?" He finally asked.

"Monkey Fist." Wade answered.

"Not so bad then. Going to take a break. Alert me ten minutes before we get there.

Wade nodded. This would be the third mission in so many hours for Ron. That would tire even Kim, Ron must be exhausted.

To Ron it seemed like only a few seconds had passed before Wade was telling him time was up. Wearily he climbed to his feet and briefly gave the glider a quick inspection before strapping in. "Why did it have to be monkeys again?" He muttered before he jumped and felt the wind take him again. And the rain soak him through again.

Following normal procedure for the night he aimed the glider downward and let gravity and the wind battle it out for the glider. Gravity slowly took control and he fell towards the earth. _Three missions in a row. Why did Kim have to pick this night of all nights to ..." _He pushed the thought aside. Distraction now could mean death.

The ground seemed to race upward at a frightening rate. Looking around he spotted the lair. A simple stone building in a rural sitting. _Why are lairs usually stone, _he wondered. Still this building, compared to the usual lairs of villains, seemed normal. Something that would draw no attention at all. Briefly he wondered how Wade found all these lairs so quickly and so easily. _Doesn't matter, at the moment, _he concluded and pulled the glider up, racing along the ground. He flew over several ordinary houses before he reached the lair and, holding his breath, tried to land despite the speed at which he was going. Luckily the ground was knee deep, water soaked, mud. When the spinning stopped and he came to a stand still he was coated in mud, but entirely unhurt. _How many lucky breaks in that tonight, _he wondered.

A weird screeching sound above alerted him to danger and he dove to the ground, getting more mud on himself as he frantically searched the sky. He spotted several black shapes swooping down toward him. He tried to stand up but was stuck in the mud. He gulped and struggled frenetically to free himself. Just before what he now saw to be several giant mutated bats struck, and ended his days as a sidekick, a sudden gust of wind lashed out, knocking him down and knocking the bats off course. They ended up in the mud and appeared to be as stuck as he was.

Slowly, with the weird screeching of the bats unnerving him he stood and waded towards the lair. _Hope the mud keeps those bats busy for a little bit, _he thought. Slowly the lair drew closer and as it did he found himself on firmer footing. He saw where the rain, running off the lair's eves created a small waterfall and headed towards it. He took the time to take a thirty second shower beneath it, getting rid of most of the mud. It had been getting everywhere, including in his eyes. A bad situation in a fight.

Spotting the lair door he headed towards it and entered.

"Oh, it's the pretender." Came a voice from his left. Looking he saw DNAmy fiddling with the controls of some device.

"Pretender?" He asked, wondering why the woman had started to call him that.

"It's what my Monkey Fist calls you so I decided to call you that too." DNAmy replied. "What brings you out in this weather?" She inquired as though it was a normal everyday meeting.

"I came for the DNA Mutator." Ron answered truthfully.

"Oh, I can't let you have that." The woman answered. "I'm using it for a very important project."

"What project is that?" Ron was curious as to what the woman would say.

"My love keeps going on how his monkey ninjas can't seem to beat the pretender so I thought I would boost some monkeys with some tweaks here and there. I'm sure if I make an army if super monkeys he will return my love." The woman looked up. "Want to see the one I already made?" She asked.

"Not really." Ron answered truthfully. However the woman was already pushing a button. Ron saw a cage lift, revealing a sick and wrong monkey sitting in the middle of a circle. It was about five times the size of an ordinary monkey, had leathery skin that remind Ron of a Rhino, talons that were at least a foot long, fangs that seemed way too big, and a tail that seemed to have a scorpion style stinger on it." Ron gulped and suddenly felt the need to go to the washroom again.

DNAmy continued talking. "With a few tweaks I made it twice as fast as an ordinary monkey, twenty times as strong, gave it claws made of pure carbon, what you call diamond, and sharper than any knife. Same with its fangs..." The woman continued talking in a rush, obviously excited by her new creation. She finished with. "I'm sure my Monkey Fist will love them and return my love when I give him an army of them." She was panting.

Ron sighed and help up an hand.

"What is it?" DNAmy asked.

"That thing scares me enough I need to use the washroom. Hrm, where might I find one?" The petrified Ron asked.

DNAmy stared at him for a few seconds before answering. "Second door to your right. Remember to put the seat back down."

Ron nodded and took off. He was back in a few minutes asking, "Where were we?"

"I believe my cutie pie monkey was about to get me a new gift for my love." DNAmy answered. "I'm sure he would love to have a mutated pretender as a bonus gift when I give him his new army."

"Cutie pie?" Ron asked.

"Well, you got to agree it is the cutest thing you ever saw." DNAmy pointed at the monkey. "Well, except for my cutie pie Monkey Fist." She added dreamily.

Ron sighed and didn't have the heart to tell the woman what he though of her latest creation, let a lone Monkey Fist. "I don't suppose it has any weaknesses?" He asked hoping the woman in her excitement might give something away. It was a false hope.

"Oh I can't tell you that." The woman replied. She looked at the time. "Anyway, I got to make some changes to the DNA Mutator before I make any more so enough chatting." She pointed at Ron and uttered the words, "Capture him!" The giant monkey began to move.

Ron screamed and ducked under a table which the giant monkey gently lifted and placed to one side. Ron crawled under it again. Once again the giant monkey lifted the table and placed it to one side. Ron crawled under it again. The monkey scratched it head.

'Don't worry." DNAmy spoke. "You will enjoy it as one of my mutations. I always make sure they are happy with a few tweaks to their brain chemistry."

The words seemed to fail in reassuring Ron who stared out from under the table, shivering, face pale. The monkey lifted the table again and placed it back on the floor, upside down so Ron couldn't crawl under it again. Ron stared at the table, forlornly. The miserable expression on his made DNAmy feel sorry for him, but she was a woman on a mission and had a job to do - win the love of her beloved. No sacrifice was to great in that holy task.

Ron made a dash for it, not sure where he was running to, but found himself hanging in the grip of the monkey that had hold of his jersey. He let himself slip out of the jersey and continued running. The giant monkey stared at the jersey for a few second before dropping it and giving chase. Ron in his dash made a circle around the room and grabbed the jersey off the floor just as the monkey caught him again. This time it grabbed him by the hair and Ron screamed.

"Oh, my cutie pie, don't hurt him too badly." DNAmy spoke from one corner of the room.

Ron let himself go still as thrashing about while the monkey was holding his hair hurt too much. He looked at the jersey and then at the monkey, then back to the jersey. Quickly he reached up and pulled the jersey down over the eyes of the monkey. The monkey froze and looked around, obvious confused by its blindness. It lifted both hands to its eyes, letting go of Ron in the process. Ron made a dash at DNAmy while the monkey continued to feel at it eyes, puzzled at the jersey that covered them.

Using his mad running skills Ron closed the distance to DNAmy in less than two seconds and grabbed the device she had been working on from her.

"Hey. Give that back you meanie. I need it to win my beloved's love." The woman cried.

Looking at the device, still running Ron saw two buttons. One was labeled 'Mutate' at one end and 'Reverse' at the other. It obviously set whether the device would mutate a monkey or undo the mutation. Or so Ron hoped. He pushed it to reverse, aimed it at the still puzzled giant monkey and pressed the other button. A very pretty pink colored light was emitted from the device. The light hit the monkey which suddenly stopped rubbing its hands over the jersey covering its eyes. The scream it let loose was unearthly and Ron shuddered. Suddenly the monkey began to shrink but it didn't change back to an ordinary monkey. Rather, on the ground, there was a small pink poodle. Ron froze and stared at the poodle, then he turned and look at DNAmy with a puzzled expression on his face.

DNAmy sighed. "That's what I was trying to fix. It can change monkeys to super monkeys but changing them back is a problem. For some reason they always end up as poodles.

Ron in a daze put the Mutator in a pocket and marched out the door. Pausing only to pick up his jersey from the floor.

It took him over a half hour to pull the glider out of the mud. Luckily its material was waterproof and the mud refused to stick to its surface. All it took was a few minutes beneath the downpour of rain to clean it. He himself then spent another full minute beneath the water falling from the eves of the roof to try and get himself reasonably clean. All the while he kept glancing at the bats who seemed to have resigned themselves to being stuck in the mud.

Five minutes later he was up in the air and Jacklyn Camberson deftly plucked him out of the air once again. Inside he gave himself a quick sniff. "Phew!" _A real bath once I get back to Middleton, _he thought as he flipped the Kimmunicator on.

"How did it go Ron?" Wade immediately asked.

Ron held up the Mutator 1.0 without saying anything.

"Awesome!" The genius replied. He was obviously happy to see the device safely recovered and Ron still in one piece. "You should be back in Middleton within the hour." He added before Ron could ask, reading his expression.

Ron nodded. "Good." He turned the Kimmunicator off and slipped it back in his pocket. He then settled down in his wet clothes and tried to nap.

Beep! Beep! Beep!

Ron reluctantly woke up. This time his dreams weren't about Kim or monkey-boy. For some reason he found weird they had been about Jacklyn. The two of them had been sitting on a beach. She in a flight suit that fit her form perfectly with an helmet sitting to one side of her. He had been normally dressed. The two had been talking , relaxing on the beach, drinking fruit drinks. It had been a very relaxing dream but one he found very weird. He only dreamed of three things. The first being Kim, the second being food, the third being monkeys. Dreaming of a girl he had never ever met was definitely out of the norm.

"What's the sitch Wade?" He asked, yawning as he turned on the Kimmunicator.

"Ron, we need Kim. Another mission has come up and you're too tired to go on it alone."

Ron was in a daze. "Another mission?" He simply stated.

Wade nodded. "I know four missions in a row is a bit extreme but there's nothing I can do about it and Global Justice is still dealing with WEE. We need Kim Ron. Where is she?"

Ron sighed. He spent a few seconds pondering the dream, while Wade stared at him, obviously impatient. "Another mission?" He asked.

Wade nodded. "Ron, is something wrong with Kim? Why won't you tell me where she's at. She wouldn't like you going on these missions alone? They're dangerous and you're obviously exhausted."

"Not so exhausted Wade. Getting a bit of rest between them and slept like a baby last night. Dreamt I was chugging down nachos like they were going out of style. Weird thing is they were pink and when I woke up I was holding Rufus about to drop him in my mouth. Poor guy was scared out of his wits. Guess he didn't enjoy the dream so much being the nacho. Who's the villain this time?"

**Gill**

* * *

"It's Gill, Ron. But shouldn't we call Kim?"

"Nay, until she turns her Kimmunicator back on she's not to be disturbed Wade. Besides, isn't Gill more like one of my foes instead of Kim's?"

.

"True. But I'm sure Kim wouldn't like you going after him alone. And Gill's close to Middleton so we got plenty of time to pick her up and get you two to him before he has time to do anything too drastic."

"What is he up to?"

"He's stolen all the monkeys from the Middleton zoo. Not sure what he's going to do with them but I've tracked him to a warehouse in Middleton."

Ron nearly fainted. "Monkey's again! AGAIN!" He nearly broke down sobbing.

"You see Ron, we should call Kim in on this. I'm sure she can deal with the monkeys with ease." Wade waited.

"No can do, Wade." Ron answered with a pale face.

Wade was puzzled. Why would Ron refuse to call in Kim and handle all these 'monkey situations' by himself? Was something wrong with Kim? Did the two of them fight? He decided to prod Ron on the situation a little more. "Ron, did you and Kim have a fight? If that's the reason then shouldn't the two of you make up and get the team back together?"

Rom shrugged. "We haven't fought any more than we usually have lately." To be honest there had been quite a few fights, all over monkey-boy but nothing that would have kept him from calling her in this situation.

"Is there something wrong with her then? Is she hurt? Sick?" Wade prodded more.

"Not that I know of Wade. Last I saw she seemed pretty happy. By the way Wade, is Gil mutated or normal?"

"He's mutated Ron. So if you two aren't fighting and she isn't sick or hurt why can't we call her?"

"When she turns on her Kimmunicator Wade then you can call her. She's calling the shot here, not me." Ron rubbed his head. "So no clue what Gill wants the monkeys for, huh?"

"No. Was thinking maybe he's working with Monkey Fist but since you just foiled one of Monkey Fist's plots I doubt that's it. He wouldn't have another plot up and running so soon."

"And he's in Middleton? Which means another suicidal dive in this weather using the glider. Has the weather there cleared up at all in the past few hours?"

"Sorry Ron. It's actually gotten worse if anything. Temperatures have dropped and now it's half freezing rain and half snow. Wind is just as bad and the lightning has the power companies worried. It's destroying a lot of transformers."

"That's weird Wade. Run a check to see if anyone is using any sort of weather machine in the area okay?"

"Will do, Ron. But back to Kim. Can't we call her?"

"Look Wade. If I thought we could I would do it in an instant. I HATE monkeys and I've seen nothing tonight but monkeys. Killigan was using golf balls that turned into monkeys, Monkey Fist uses monkey ninjas, DNAmy was mutating monkeys. and now Gill is doing something with monkeys. Trust me Wade, I would love to hand this situation over to Kim. But that just isn't going to happen. Sorry."

Wade backed off. "I will run a check for weather machines Ron. Meanwhile it's still twenty minutes or so to Middleton. Either rest a bit more or give the glider a quick check over. It's taken some abuse today." The screen went blank.

Ron sighed, muttered something about monkeys, and went to inspect the hand glider again. Twenty minutes later he was strapped in and ready to brave the storm outside. _For the last time, I hope, _he thought to himself. _At least from here it won't take long for Jacklyn to get me home._ _Assuming I survive. _The doors opened and he jumped._ Hey, wait, why am I doing this in a lightning storm, I'm going to be fried, _he thought as the wind took him.

He plummeted towards the ground, considering the odds of lightning striking him. _No metal on this thing, all advanced synthetic material. That's good. _He looked around. _Plus while the wind is as bad and I'm bloody freezing there doesn't seem to be as much lightning as at Killigan's lair._ He peered towards the ground. The glider fell rapidly and the only real indication he had of how far away the ground was were a few small lights. The lightning wasn't quite enough to light up the area as it had at Killigan's.

Buffeted by the wind he just let the glider fall without any attempt at control. Soon he could see the ground and pulled the glider up in a swoop that sent him towards a large warehouse. He dropped down low and the buildings surrounding the warehouse began to block some of the wind. He flew gracefully and dropped to the ground just a few meters from the warehouse in an area void of any wind. The warehouse, it seemed, did a good job of blocking that aspect of the storm. _That was a pretty good landing, too bad Kim wasn't here to see it._

Ron began to sneak around the building, using every trick he learned in Yamanouchi along with all the practice he had sneaking into lairs with Kim. He saw two entrances, a front one, large enough to handle a large transport truck, and a back one that was just a normal sized door. There were a few vents, but none big enough to allow a person entrance. _Definitely not a lair designed by Jack Hench, _he thought. He briefly considered the room but concluded the wind there would probably make moving a bit difficult. He took out a coin, flipped it, and said, "So, it's the back door then."

He tried the knob on the door and found it locked. Looking around he saw several tools. This was obviously a place used for work of some sort and not an empty warehouse that Gill had took over. Picking up a crowbar he went to work on the door, trying to be as quiet as possible. Door open he entered.

He was in a back room with no one inside. An office of some sort. He tried the door leading to the main section of the warehouse and found it unlocked. Soon he was among huge piles of construction materials. Bags of cement piled to the ceiling, stacks of lumber that went just as high, a few piles of housing shingles._After the storm it's good to know someone has the supplies we will need to repair all that damage, _he though as he crept around pile after pile of building material, seeing no one. He did though hear the chattering of monkeys from the distance and headed towards it. _Rather go back out in the storm, _he thought, gulping.

Peering around a pile of cement he spotted Gill. In front of Gill there were around twenty cages, each holding a monkey. Tied up to the left of the cages was a man, unconscious. Given the uniform the man wore Ron assumed he was the watchman for the warehouse.

"Soon I will have an army. An army of monkeys to squash that dweeb Ron Stoppable." Gill laughed, an horrible laugh that sent chills down Ron's spine. "Mutant monkey that will make that dweeb piss his pants." Gill continued his rant, unaware said dweeb was listening in. "How pathetic. Afraid of monkeys! What a dweeb! All that's left is to mutate my monkey army." Gill drew in a breath and prepared to cover the monkeys in a slime that would mutate them.

Ron screamed. He didn't know what else to do. The scream made Gill jump ten feet into the air and his slime completely missed the monkeys, covering the wall behind them. The mutant had obviously been startled.

_I hate monkeys, _Ron Stoppable thought as he took the chance and raced towards the cages. He began to smash the locks to the cages in a frenetic effort to free as many monkeys as possible before Gill could slime them.

"Hey, stop that you dweeb!" Gill yelled as he saw Ron freeing the monkeys. Actually he was as surprised at Ron's actions as he had been when Ron had let loose that high pitched, terrified scream. Ron running towards the monkeys was unexpected. Him freeing them was unthinkable. Shocked as he was Ron had smashed ten locks and freed ten monkeys before Gill could think to react. He drew in a breath and prepared to slime the dweeb.

Ron, sensing this, tossed the crowbar to the monkey he had just freed and dodged, running away from the cages so the monkeys wouldn't get slimed. That was a fate he wouldn't wish even upon a monkey. He screamed again and again, alternating between incoherent screams and yelling 'monkeys' at the top of his voice. He dodged several attempts by Gill to slime him.

Gill gritted his teeth and screamed, "Stop running you dweeb! You're finished! My mutant monkey army will take care of you." He turned back to the cages and his jaw dropped. Not just the ten monkeys Ron had freed but all twenty were now out of their cages. The monkey Ron had tossed the crowbar to had, taking to heart the words, 'monkey see monkey do', smashed the locks to the rest of the cages. Now Gill screamed, "I hate you you dweeb!" He began to slime the monkeys but they were if anything just as agile as that dweeb he hated so much. After a dozen or so attempted to slime the monkeys that were jumping around, chattering and making a monkey out of him, he stopped. He looked at the dweeb, panting, resting with his hands on his knees, out of breath. Then he looked at the monkeys who were scrambling around. _He's just a dweeb, I don't need the monkeys to handle him. _Gill turned back to Ron.

Ron sensing another barge of slime started running again. He dodged around several forklifts and kept running. Slimed splattered all around him, but none struck him.

"Hold still you dweeb!" Gill yelled.

"Are you stupid." Ron replied. "If I stay still you're going to mutate me." He hid behind one of the forklifts.

"Duh! I'm going to slime you anyway. Dweeb! You might as well stop. Your fate is sealed." Gill covered the forklift in slime.

"Not if I got anything to say about it." Ron took cover behind another forklift.

"You don't!" More slime was sent towards Ron by the enraged mutant.

Ron dodged it, using his mad running skills. He hid behind a pile of concrete, slipping on the wet floor as he did so. Looking down he noticed a pool of water. _Hey. if he has slime why don't I use slime? _Came the thought to his fear filled mind. There was a small depression in the floor and a hole in the roof above had filled it with water. Ron quickly slashed one of the bags of cement with a key and let it pour into the pool of water. He quickly mixed the water and cement together.

Gill, out of breath from all the slime he had used, took a few seconds for a breather. It wasn't as though the dweeb could do much. Or so he though.

"Hey, fish breath, take this." Ron stepped out from behind the pile and cement and threw a handful of wet cement at the surprised Gill who only just managed to dodge it. Ron left loose with the other handful, missing again, and then ducked back behind the pile of cement to scoop up more of the gooey substance he had made. There had been only enough water to make four or, at the most, five handfuls but at least he wasn't just running any more.

Gill looked at the material splattered on the wall beside him and wondered what it was. _Surely he's not already a mutant, _wondered the mutated boy. _Where did he get the slime from? It's white so he not just throwing my own back at me._ He saw another handful coming towards him and dodged. This wasn't going as he had expected. He then dodged a fourth handful, still puzzled, not realizing the dweeb was out of ammo.

Monkey see, monkey do. The monkeys had watched the antics of the two and wanted in on the game. Since Gill was out in the open, not to mention the one who had taken them from their nice home and drove them out into the storm in an uncovered truck in those small cages, he became their target. Besides, the other person for all his noisy yelling was the one who had freed them.

Something struck Gill in the back of the head. He whirled around, taken by surprise. _Surely the dweeb couldn't have gotten behind him and just what did that slime of his do._ The mutant was a bit afraid. He wiped at the back of his head, looked around for the dweeb, and peered at what at been thrown at him. It wasn't the same substance at all, for one thing this stunk. It really really stunk. He gagged as he took a sniff trying to analyze it. Then he saw one of the monkeys toss an handful of something at him. He dodge, but then there were ten handfuls thrown by ten monkeys splattering around him and on him. Then, as all the monkeys joined in on the game twenty handfuls.

Gill realized what the substance was. The substance that he was totally coated in, and he gagged. He fell to his knees as the knowledge, along with the smell, got to him. He began to puke nonstop, using up all his slime and fell unconscious to the floor.

Ron had watched the monkeys in action, bewildered. Then he saw the cages and considered the storm. _Hey, I would be pretty annoyed too in their situation. Just so long as they aren't throwing it at me._ He knew Gill would be out for a little while, a few hours at least, as his body put all its effort into making more slime. It was one of the drawback Gill had in his mutated form, or so one of the scientists who had handled Gill last time had explained to him and Kim. Ron crept to the back of the warehouse and out through the back office door. He thought the monkeys would have a bit more fun with Gill and then settle down for a nap. The watchman would be okay with Gill out for the count.

Finding the glider, he sighed and found a spot where the wind could let him launch. It was insane, but he knew of no other way to get back to his ride. Travel through Middleton by ordinary means was out of the question. The storm picked him up and he was screaming as he was tossed around and around until a dark shape appeared and he found himself in the cargo hole of the jet again. He led out flat on the floor for a full five minutes before he reached down and pulled out the Kimmunicator.

"Hey Wade." He said as the super genius appeared on screen.

"You okay Ron?" Came the reply.

"So so, Wade. At least that's over with. You know they say exposure to phobias is supposed to help cure the phobia but I still hate monkeys." Ron sighed.

"Did you take care of Gill?" Wade wanted to know.

"Sort of. He won't be going anywhere for a few hours. Time enough for someone to collect him. Just make sure those doing so have got nose plugs, or something to block their sense of smell anyway."

"Why?" Wade was curious.

Ron shrugged. "I will let those picking him up explain it to you. It should be safe for someone to collect the monkeys too, so long as they avoid all the slime around the place. Anyway, how long before I can be dropped off at home?"

"Good job on the mission Ron. As for home ... well ..."

Wade was happy over the successful completion of another mission but Ron could tell something was wrong. "What's wrong?" He finally asked, not really wanting to hear it.

"You know how you asked about weather machines?"

"Yeah. Let me guess, you found one." Ron let his head drop. He was getting tired.

"Just twenty miles from your current location. Not sure how I missed it in the first place. Guess I was too busy. While locating the lairs I was also helping Dr. Director with WEE and also helping various groups like the Middleton Police and Fire departments handle the situation here. But still ..."

"Not to mention worrying over me going on missions without Kim." Ron added.

"That too." Wade agreed and then paused. "Not that I don't have confidence in your abilities Ron it's just that ... hrm .. well ..." The super genius was unsure of how to proceed without hurting Ron's feelings.

"Never mind, Wade. I understand. I'm not Kim Possible." Ron wondered how her night with Josh was going. "Has she turned her Kimmunicator back on yet?" He asked.

"Not yet Ron. If you know where she is tell me. We need her for this one. It's Drakken and Shego again."

**Shego**

* * *

_Big surprise there, _Ron thought. _Should have figured they would show up some time tonight._ "What are they up to this time. A weather machine again?" He asked.

"Yeah. This time it's weird though. There's been no demands and while the storms they are generating are pretty bad they aren't the type to destroy the world. I'm thinking those are just test runs but given how easy their lair was to spot once I did starting looking that can't the case. Not sure what they are actually up to." The super genius hated being unsure..

"This is Drakken Wade. Of course he would mess up like that." Ron paused. "You know, it's scary just how alike he and I are."

"Alike? Ron you and him are nothing alike. How could you say such a thing?" Wade was surprised at Ron's comment.

"Well, he keeps messing up in ridiculous ways, and so do I. His plots always has some flaw and I keep losing my pants. Wade you don't think in twenty-five years time I will end up like Drakken do you? Alone in a lair with nothing except a few synthodrones and a green, if gorgeous, sarcastic villainess who will mock my every plot."

"Ron, that's ridiculous. You're a good guy. Drakken is a bad guy. You won't end up like him."

"Not so sure of that Wade. I mean Drakken was once a not bad guy. He even went to the same college as Mr. P. He must have seemed pretty normal back then. He wasn't even blue."

"Don't be silly Ron." Wade didn't know what else to say on the matter so he switched subjects. "Anyway, we need Kim. for this one. You can't fight Shego."

"She hasn't turned on her Kimmunicator?"

"Nope."

"Then calling her is out of the question." Ron sighed. "Tonight of all nights Kim. Why tonight? Just how long does it take to ..." He let his voice trail off as he barely stopped himself from giving away Kim's plans for the night.

"How long does it take to what?" Wade asked.

"Oh nothing, Wade. How long to Drakken's lair?"

"Ron! You can't go after Drakken by yourself! Kim wouldn't allow it!" Wade started to panic. "villains like Gill was one thing, Drakken with Shego at his side was whole different story.

"Is this storm also over Drakken's lair?" Ron asked.

"No. That's what gave it away. What made it so blindingly obvious that I should have spotted it once the storm started. There's a calm area about two kilometers in diameter just twenty kilometers south of Middleton. In a natural system there's no way it could exist other than as the eye of a storm and in this case it isn't that."

"Any good landing spots for the jet there?"

"Yeah, several." Wade replied.

"So I won't need the glider for this? That's good."

"Ron! You can't go on this mission alone." Wade was panicking. Kim, he knew, would kill him if anything happened to Ron. Not to mention Ron was his friend.

"Don't worry so much Wade." Ron himself was worried, but he couldn't let that show. Given how much he had already went through tonight for Kim he couldn't stop here. Besides, this had to be the last mission didn't it? He wrinkled his nose. _If not, _he thought, _then the rest of them will be easy. One sniff of me will knock out any villain. Well except maybe for a bebe. Wonder if they got a sense of smell._

"Ron!" Wade was screaming.

"Look Wade. Global Justice is busy and can't do it right?"

Wade nodded. "That why we need to ..."

"And Kim is busy. Plus it would take too long to contact her. Probably an hour or so." _At least that long, _he added to himself. _Anyone of a hundred or so places they could have gone for their 'special' night'._

"Still Ron, waiting an hour is better than you getting hurt."

"I wonder if Drakken will just sit back and give us an hour before he hatches this plot. He's already been brewing this storm for most of a day. I think he's getting pretty close." Ron countered.

Wade thought for a few seconds. "I wish the Wade-bot hadn't been damaged." He finally said.

Ron blinked. _Damaged? _He found himself laughing. "Wade that bot wasn't just damaged it was obliterated. I doubt there's a single screw left that wasn't vaporized. Damaged is the understatement of the century."

"Well." Wade shrugged. "Either way it isn't here. So contacting Kim would take an hour?"

Ron nodded. "At a minimum. Plus I doubt she would be too pleased at having a mission tonight."

Wade sighed. "You will be over the site in two minutes. Jacklyn will land about three hundred meters from the lair. That should be far enough way the jet won't be spotted. It is pretty well cloaked against sensors. Anyone spots her while she's waiting she can just take off." His words came out with great reluctance.

Ron nodded. "Excellent Wade. Just need you to do one thing before we get to the lair."

Five minutes later he was on the ground. The jet had vanished immediately after he had left it. _That's one pretty neat cloaking device, _he admitted to himself. _Anyway, mind back on the mission..._

Ten minutes later he was at the lair, having taken his time, trying to use as much cover as possible. He studied the structure before him. _At least it isn't made of stone, _he thought. It was a modern looking building, just a bit weird with all the projections extruding from it. _Something like monkey-boy would call art, _he thought. Ron slapped himself at that thought. "Focus Ron." he said to himself. He continued studying the building and decided not to break the usual routine. He and Kim always used an air duct to get into Drakken's lairs and this place seemed to have plenty of those._ Obviously built by Jack Hench, _he thought. _That's good. Means the self-destruct will be a piece of cake. If only Kim were here to handle Shego._

He approached a vent. Took off the grate and jumped in. He then started to carefully crawl downward. Five minutes later he was near an inside grate which he also took off. Getting out he looked around and his eyes went wide. He nearly fell to his knees at the wondrous sight before him. This was a shower room with four showers just waiting to be used.

He gulped. _No time, _the thought came to his mind but he pushed it away. _This is a lair, _but he pushed the thought away. He took a sniff of himself and this time did fall to his knees, gagging. _Oh good lord, _he thought, _I need a shower. _ He looked around and in the adjacent changing room saw a machine labelled, 'Sonic Dirt Eraser.' Reading the instructions he learned it was a washing machine of sort. Just place clothes inside and push button. Sonic waves would clean the clothes in just five seconds.

Despite the location Ron Stoppable was naked in three point two seconds. The clothes were in the machine and he was pressing the button marked, 'Clean.' Too late he remembered this was probably one of Drakken's machines and it could do anything to his clothes, including destroy them, leaving him inside the lair stark naked. The five second countdown seemed to take forever. Finally the machine beeped and an LED display lit up. 'CLOTHES EXTRA DIRTY - PRESS CLEAN BUTTON AGAIN!'

Ron gulped, wondering if his clothes were still okay. He looked inside the machine and saw they were. They just looked a little bit cleaner and smelled a little bit better. He decided to press the CLEAN button again. The display for clothes extra dirty came up seven times, each time Ron pressed the CLEAN button. Finally the display came up, 'CLOTHES CLEAN!' Ron looked in the machine and there, looking almost brand new was his clothes. They even smelled fresh, scented like lemons.

He took them out. Smelled them. They were clean, he wasn't. He looked at the show. _No time, Drakken could hatch his plot any time._ He pushed the thought away. _This is a lair. _ He pushed the thought away. _Anyone could be around. Nay. They're probably all busy up in the lair preparing the plot. This is insane, what am I doing here naked?_ He pushed the thought away. _Just two minutes, just two minutes and and I can be CLEAN!_ He was in the shower before he realized it, having grabbed a bar of soap from a pile of supplies near the 'washing' machine'.

_This is heaven, _he thought as the warm water washed over him. He took three minutes scrubbing at his hair. He wasn't sure but that mud he had had to wade through by DNAmy's lair was probably used by her various creations for purposes he didn't care to think about. The thought nearly made him gag. Since he was here he might as well make sure he was thoroughly clean. In all it took him eleven minutes. He had just turned off the water and pressed the button marked, 'HOT AIR DRYER' when he heard a sound. Looking up he saw a stark naked Shego walk in the room, bar of soap in hand, looking down, deep in thought. He nearly fainted. Whether it was from the situation or the vision before him he couldn't tell. _Maybe both, _he thought, frozen, unable to move.

_She's going to kill me. _Of that thought he had no doubt. _She's between me and the door. _Realizing that didn't really do anything to help his panic _She's getting closer. _Panic taken to the extreme finally broke his frozen state, but left him totally unsure of what to do. What he did was totally insane. Did he make a break for the door, no, instead he calmly said, "Evening Shego," while using his hands to protect his dignity. _My dignity yeah, my life no, _he thought.

Shego froze. She looked up and saw Ron Stoppable standing there naked, hands located in a vital spot. Her mind went blank. Shock raced through her.

"Hope you don't mind my using the showers. Was sort of dirty when I got in." The teen sidekick calmly explained. _What am I doing, _his mind screamed at him. _You're calmly talking to her like this was some ordinary meeting._

Shego was still in shock. "Stoppable?" She finally said.

"Hey, you do know my name. Knew the whole forgetting my name thing was a gag." _Why is my voice to calm? _Ron Stoppable felt his heart beat at at least two hundred beats per minutes. Adrenaline was flooding his whole system telling him to flee, yet he was froze solid.

Shego looked down at the hands covering Ron's vitals. She looked down even further and realized her own state. She yelped, dropped the bar of soap and used her hands to cover herself. One hand was placed across her breasts and the other was situated much like Ron own hands were. _What the hell, _she thought. "Stoppable?" She repeated.

"Hey Shego. Fancy meeting like this." Ron's voice was unnaturally calm.

Shock or no shock Shego had an image to maintain. "Buffoon I'm going to rip some parts off you and feed them too you." She looked at the parts in question just to get her point across.

Ron swallowed. "Come one Shego, this is all just an accident. You wouldn't believe how dirty I was when I came in. Had to hit the clean button to that machine eight times." For some reason he was unfrozen now, feeling more calm.

Shego blinked. Despite the situation the eight times remark grabbed her attention. "Eight times? Just what were you into that made you_ that _dirty?"

"Lets see. Before here there was Gill, you know the mutant who spits slime. Not something you want on you. Trust me on that. Before that there was DNAmy. There was mud all around her place and wading in it was ... well you know all the animals she keeps around." Both Ron and Shego shuddered at that. "Then there was Monkey Fist before that. Then Killigan before that. You know that haggis of his. The smell of it was all over me." The two shuddered again.

"Some night you and the princess have had Buffoon, but I'm still going to burn off some parts." She went to light her hands and flinched.

Ron nodded. "Not a good time to light those hands of yours Shego. Wouldn't be my parts they would be burning." Ron knew he was right. If there was any place he had a chance against Shego, this was it. She couldn't use plasma without revealing something. Even moving quickly would be problematic for her. He on the other hand was used to being embarrassed.

Shego stood there trying to think. Mind still blank. She just knew this was a situation she was going to make someone pay for. "So where is the princess, Buffoon?" She finally asked. This wasn't a situation she wanted the princess to see her in.

"She was ... umm... busy tonight." Ron answered.

"Busy? You mean all those missions you just mentioned was you alone?" Shego gave the nude blonde before her a look over. He didn't look like much. Certainly not someone who could handle Monkey Fist or Killigan's haggis for that matter let alone his exploding golf balls.

"Well, I wasn't up to much anyway. Our school had a forced dance. Not much fun for me. And this storm you and Drakken cooked up knocked out the power so no zombie mayhem." Ron sighed.

No princess around. Shego liked that. What was bothering her, other than her current state of undress, was how calm the Buffoon was taking everything. As though he wasn't phased at all with the current situation. And he had already been on four missions tonight.

"How long?"

"Huh?" Shego replied, puzzled by the question.

"How long before Drakken hatches his plot? I mean if it was any time soon you wouldn't have been here about to take a shower, right?"

"Oh!" The exotic, and very embarrassed, villainess answered. "Was just going to head up to the lab right after the shower. Not too long."

"Ah." Came the reply. "Just my bad luck then." He sighed and studied the villainess closely.

"HEY!" Shego roared. "Stop that. You're in enough trouble already."

"Sorry. Just realized something." Ron shrugged, obviously not bothered by her anger.

Shego swallowed. "And what was that Buffoon?" She fumed. The Buffoon acting so unperturbed was getting to her.

"You actually get greener when embarrassed. Sort of cute." Ron hadn't meant to add the 'sort of cute' part but it was true.

"Pervert!" Shego yelled.

Ron shrugged. "Hey that's a step up from being a Buffoon. You know I never could figure out why you went and became a villain. I mean with your superpowers you could have competed in any sport and been famous. Or been a model with your looks. But now you're just infamous, hiding out in a lair. unable to even go to a mall without a disguise else Global Justice would be after you." His voice held pity.

Shego gulped. The Buffoon PITIED her! She took a step back and nearly fainted. The Buffoon PITIED her!

"Anyway Shego, if he's as close to completing the plot as you say no time to stay and chat." Ron Stoppable flipped into run mode and tried to race around her. Hands no longer covering his vitals, rather he was in sprint mode, aiming for pure speed.

Shego blinked. She only knew she had to stop him. If he got by her she would never heard the last of it from Drakken. Not to mention if he told anyone he had seen her like this... It was unthinkable. With both arms already in use covering herself she did the only thing she could. She tried to trip him.

It was a feint. As Shego lifted one leg and was off balance, Ron changed direction, pivoted on one foot, and using every bit of his strength and momentum, aided by the adrenaline coursing through him, kicked Shego into stomach. It lifted her off her feet and knocked her backwards onto her rear, arms flying. Ron Stoppable was given another view of her exotic beautify. He didn't pause to enjoy the view but kept running.

Shego screamed, "STOPPABLE!"

Ron smiled, she did know his name. He dropped the soap he had kept in his hands and kicked it backwards.

Shego jumped up, prepared to give chase, hands blazing. So long as the Buffoon had his back to her and couldn't see anything. _His mistake, _she thought viciously. Then her left foot met the soap and she went down again. By the time she got up the Buffoon had vanished around the wall and out into the changing area. _Damn, _Shego thought. She ran to the changing area only to see his naked heels carrying him out of the shower room completely.

Shego froze for a second. She couldn't chase him out there where Drakken might see her. There were no henchmen in the lair. Just her, the Buffoon, Drakken and a dozen or so synthodrones. She decided she could change into her suit and get to the lab before the Buffoon could do much damage. After all, he was naked. She looked for her suit only to see it was gone. Her scream cracked a mirror in front of her and she gave chase, naked or not.

Ron grabbed both sets of clothes on his way out, his mad running skills giving him the agility to dodge around the washing machine, grab his own clothes and then hers, which were in an open locker just beside the door, and then exit the door while Shego was still hidden behind the wall dividing the changing area from the shower room. Briefly he wondered how Shego hadn't spotted his clothes, placed as they had been close to the washing machine. He pushed the question to one side and simply muttered, "focus." He ran.

Seeing a door to his left he ran into it, hoping Shego would run past. He started putting on his clothes, looking around as he did so. _Shego's room, _was the conclusion that came to his mind. _Damn! She's going to come in here to grab her clothes. _He hurried to the door and locked it. He heard the click of the lock immediately followed by someone trying to open the door.

Shego rounded a corridor and looked for the Buffoon. He had disappeared somewhere but given she was outside her room and the seconds it would take to get a suit... She grabbed at the door, dreading the thought of Drakken showing up, only to hear the click of the lock. She cursed. Plasma flamed halfway up her arms and she sent several balls of it towards the door before she froze once again. If Drakken was to come down here the noise would draw him. She sighed. "Fuck." Was all she quietly said. It sounded strange coming from her. A villainess she might be but she rarely swore.

Ron dressed, thinking. He reached down for the Kimmunicator but didn't try to contact Wade. He flipped a button and Monkey Fist's voice came from it. 'Aa Um Um Pa Um Um Ca Um Um Ta Um Um Oa Um Um Qa Um Um Xa Um Um' and then the words repeated. It was the tape he had had Wade make just before landing here. Ron focused and began to meditate. When he had properly entered the state of Monkey Kung Fu he turned the record off.

Outside Shego grabbed the lock and quietly began to try and burn it. It wasn't easy. Drakken was used to her tantrums and usually tried to plasma proof everything. Still slowly the lock burned and soon she was able to pull the door open. The Buffoon was fully dressed. _Duh! _She thought to herself. _What fun, now you're the only naked one, Shego. _ She didn't like the slight grin on the Buffoon's face. It spoke too much of confidence and reminded her of Zorpox. She shuddered. Resigned she decided to preserve half of her dignity and used only one hand to cover herself. Her breasts were left bare.

"Time to lose some bits, Buffoon." She send a ball of plasma towards the sidekick. The way he was watching her made her feel ...weird was the only term she could come up with it.

Ron watched her every move, calmly analyzing it. Her every movement giving way her plans. He dodge the ball of plasma without thinking.

Shego blinked at how graceful the sidekick had moved. His face showed not the slightest hint of fear. She began to toss plasma around, using only one hand, as fast as she could. Each time the sidekick turned slightly to let it pass him. After around twenty such dodges his face changed. The slight smile was still there, but now boredom joined it. Infuriated Shego keep throwing plasma around.

"You're not as green now." Ron stared at her curiously. "I wonder why."

Shego blinked. She had been so busy throwing plasma around that ...

"You're running out of plasma aren't you." The calm voice continued.

"Don't be silly Buffoon. It's not something that runs out." Shego lied. She had been so focused on her rage, so focused on trying to crush the Buffoon that she hadn't realized how low on plasma she was. It wasn't unlimited.

"Hrm." Was all the sidekick said.

Shego threw more plasma, slower this time, trying to aim more carefully. It was useless. Slower just mean giving the Buffoon more time to read her moves. She stopped and stared at him. She had one last trick up her sleeves. She was in the doorway, blocking it. He couldn't leave.

"With you and Kim the fights are over in a matter of minutes. Actually usually less than a minute. No worries there of the plasma running low. But we've been at this now for what?" The Buffoon shrugged. "A lot longer than a minute."

"It's not like you've won." Shego replied.

"Not yet." The sidekick admitted. "How long does it take your plasma to regenerate."

"Seconds." Shego lied. Actually it took an hour or so and left her starving. If she used enough plasma she could go through ten thousand calories a day.

Ron crouched down in what Shego assumed was a fighting stance.

"Seriously Buffoon. Even if I got one hand tied behind my ... errr ... tied in front of me do could really think you could win a hand to hand fight?" It was hilarious Shego thought, but then this whole situation was hilarious.

"That's not the only handicap you got Shego. You can't move from the doorway. That cuts down on your mobility. Ron closed the distance. Carefully. Being closer also meant less time to dodge plasma. He threw a kick at her stomach, but it was a feint and he danced back. The bouncing of her breasts as she made a grab at him was ... interesting. Very interesting. His face went red and he knew he was staring. He sighed. The calmness of the Monkey Kung Fu deserted him. He sighed again.

Some of the green in Shego's complexion came back as she also blushed from embarrassment. "Stop staring pervert."

"Sorry Shego. Really I am." It was the truth.

"I bet." She muttered.

"Let's make a deal." Ron offered.

"A deal?"

He nodded. "We can stay like this until either I find some way past you or Drakken comes down to check on where you're at. Personally I'm betting he'll be here pretty soon. Or we can make a deal. Of course I'm assuming you don't want Drakken to see you nu ... hrm ... like that."

"What makes you think he'll be here soon?"

"I doubt he would start his plot without you being there to back him up. After all when Kim Possible tries to foil his plots it's you who he uses to fight her."

Shego felt chills run down her spine. He was right, Drakken would soon check up on her. And while the Buffoon claimed the princess wasn't her there was no reason to think she couldn't be on her way right now. The princess seeing her like this... She would never live it down. If Drakken saw her... "So what's the deal?" She asked.

"You step away from the door and give me a ten second head start before you follow me."

"Really! That sounds pretty one sided Buffoon."

"Really Shego. Ten seconds. How much damage can I do in that time? With you fully clothed you would be able to stop me a lot quicker than you can now."

Shego considered. She could dress and be after him in ten seconds. How much damage could the Buffoon do in ten seconds? He didn't even know his way to the lab. Of course he was a master at destroying thing. _Like my dignity, _she though.

"I'll sweeten the deal. You will have my solemn promise I will never reveal the fact I've seen you nu ... hrm ... like this. No one will ever know."

"I will fry you when I catch you you know." She stared back.

Ron sighed. "You're right. The deal is one sided. You get everything. I get nothing. Okay, if I make it out of here alive this time around you got to promise to not hurt me for what I saw here today."

Shego considered the fact that she should have taken the already offered deal. Once she gave a promise she didn't break it. "Okay, ten seconds. You don't tell and I don't fry you. Assuming you make it out of here alive today."

"Deal." Ron said.

"Deal." Shego echoed.

Shego stepped away from the door and headed towards her dresser. Grabbing a jumpsuit she began to pull it on. The Buffoon had already exited the room. He spent five seconds trying to close the door and she felt like laughing despite her still half naked state. It was five seconds of his precious ten wasted. With her enhanced strength she could open the door in a second. Of course he could have watched her during those five second, while she was dressing. He would pay extra for that.

Shego let the ten seconds pass and was instantly at the door, pulling it open. Or trying to anyway. After a few seconds she realized the hated truth of the situation. She hadn't given the Buffoon ten seconds, she had given him at least an half hour. The door was somehow blocked from the outside and it would take her at least an half hour in her depleted state to burn through. "Damn!" She said.

Of course there was the comm unit Drakken had installed in every lair. But that would mean letting him know the Buffoon had beat her. And his questions which she couldn't answer. She sighed. It couldn't be helped. She reached for the button that would connect her to the lab and saw wires coming out of said unit. She wouldn't be using that for a while. "Fuck!" She said.

She sat down to wait until her plasma regenerated some. She wondered how Kim Possible's sidekick would like the new synthodrones Drakken had cooked up and grinned. She might be out of the game for a bit but the game wasn't over yet. Too bad she wouldn't be there to see his reaction.

Ron pushed the item, he really wasn't sure what it was, into the hole Shego had burned into the lock and jammed it. The item had come from Shego's room, quietly swiped as he had walked out. His legs felt weak as he heard Shego try to open the door a few seconds later, but it seemed to hold. He took off running.

Shego was wrong. Ron did know the way to the lab part of the lair. Bi-monthly both he and Kim got a subscription to a catalog put out by Jack Hench. The lair he was currently in had conveniently been described in detail just a few issues back. Two minutes later he walked in the lab where Drakken was so busy working on a console that he failed to notice Ron's entrance.

**Drakken**

* * *

Ron studied the man and the room. Drakken he wasn't afraid of. On the other hand the nine modified sythrodrones standing quietly ready, waiting for orders to beat him to a pulp, petrified him. They saw him but thankfully made no move towards him. They wouldn't until Drakken, or someone with authority, gave the order to. Or, he knew, if Drakken was attacked. In the center of the room was an immense machine that was whirling around like a top. It vaguely reminded him of the weather machine he had built as Zorpox. He sighed. Drakken could come up with him own ideas but so often it was stolen ideas he used. Then again he was a villain.

He stepped back out of the lab where he wouldn't be seen if Drakken looked around. _It just had to be, _he thought as he considered the nine 'modified' synthodrones. They were nearly exact copies of the usual synthodrone, with one exception. The image of a monkey had been painted on each one. He wondered why Drakken had done that.

"Wonder where Shego is? Drats that sidekick. Always taking off on her own when I need her." The voice was Drakken's, coming from the lab.

Ron jumped. Waiting to see if Drakken was going to head his way.

"And her stupid ideas. Painting the synthodrones. Who cares what they look like. So what if the Buffoon is terrified of monkeys. He can't even handle one synthodrone, let alone nine. Kim Possible is the problem. And she's the one who always, ALWAYS, loses to Kim Possible. Goodness knows I pay her enough..." Drakken continued his rant.

_Wonder if he would be complaining like that about Shego if she was around, _Ron thought. He peered into the room again. Drakken still busy, the synthodrone still waiting for orders. He sighed and and drew back out of the room again. Locking Shego in her room had given him time to do something, thought what that something was he wasn't yet sure of. On the other hand it also made the situation worse in a way. Ron was no killer and he couldn't just set off the self-destruct while Shego was locked in her room._ Any those monkey-faced synthodrones was her idea, _he thought, both amused and scared silly.

"Synthodrones." He quietly muttered. "They are the first problem to focus on." _Strong, but dumb, _he thought. _And quick. _He considered the synthodrones and their abilities for a while. His own fighting skill, without the Monkey Kung Fu might let him handle one, but not nine. _Of course everyone else would say zero, but I'm pretty sure I could handle one alone. Kim would say zero, _he thought and the thought made him angry. Monkey-boy he knew wouldn't be able to handle any and yet Kim still looked up to him. The anger quickly faded. For some reason he felt a tear roll down his cheek. A single tear. He wiped it away. Monkey-boy wasn't here, he was. And there wasn't one, there were nine to be dealth with. His resolve focused and hardened.

He slipped into the room. Beside Drakken there was a roll of wire and some pliers. Drakken got up and moved to the other end of the console. Ron held his breath and as Drakken quietly stared at the console, pushing a button every few seconds, Ron walked over and grabbed the wire and the pliers. He then slipped out of the room. Peering back into room he saw Drakken walking back to where the wire and pliers had been and go back to work under the console. A hand reach up and searched around. Drakken peered up, looked for the wire and said, "Huh?" He shrugged and grabbed another coil of wire and pair of pliers from a cabinet near by. He was obviously used to misplacing thing.

Ron backed out of the room and grinned. He wondered if Shego stuck around Drakken just to watch his antics. An evil idea, worthy of Zorpox, came to him. He snuck back into the lab and headed for the comm unit. He quickly connected to Shego's room. The imagine remained blank, the transmitter in Shego's room being no longer functional. On the other hand Shego should be able to see and hear everything in the lab. He whispered into the microphone. "Hey Shego, not sure how long it will take you to break out of there but thought you might want to watch things in the lab. Should soon get exciting." He snuck back out of the room. Drakken hadn't heard, or seen, a thing.

Shego looked up from her work. The door now held a few plasma marks but wasn't even close to being burned through. She saw the comm unit come to life and expected it to be Drakken, calling her to the lab. Instead it was the Buffoon. Hearing his words she resumed her work on the door, throwing a look at the monitor every now and then.

Thinking for a few seconds, Ron snuck back in. Drakken was at work. Ron joined him, just a few feet away, and went to work on an adjacent console. He calmly spent several minutes there, glancing at Drakken every several seconds. He also pulled out the Kimmunicator a few time and adjusted it, though he made no attempt to contact Wade.

Finished with the console Ron studied his work for a few seconds and then started step two of his plan.. First he tied the wire to the foot of the weather generator, or whatever Drakken was calling it. Then reeling it out he attached it to the hinge of a closet door. The wire was very sharp, top of the line nanowiring from Jack Hench himself. He stood up behind it and spoke in a normal voice. "What's up Dr. D."

"Just putting a few finishing touches on my Super Weather Generator." Came the reply. The super-villain kept on working.

Ron rubbed his head. He wondered just how Drakken's mind worked. "Is that anything like the Mega Weather Generator Zorpox made?" He asked.

"No no no." Came the reply." The super-villain kept on working.

"Oh? How so?" Ron asked.

"Uses less energy and can create a number of storms. Not just one." Drakken kept on working.

Ron quietly sighed. _Just who does he think he's speaking to? It supposed to be just him and Shego in this lair. At least I haven't seen any henchmen around._ "You mean like the the storm you got in place over Killigan's?" He asked.

"Yes." Came the reply. "That lunatic wouldn't give me the plans for the explosives he uses in those golf balls. It's twice as good what I can buy on the market."

"And the storm you got running over Monkey Fist's lair?" Ron asked.

"Dumb monkey." Came the response. "He actually thinks that loser Buffoon is a worthy foe. Idiot."

"And the storm over DNAmy's lair?" Ron asked.

"She dumped me for that loser Monkey Fist. Plus she wouldn't tell me how to mutate some mice I had. I thought those would scare Kim Possible but instead she broke into my lair to save the mice." Drakken kept working.

Ron sighed again. He looked at the comm unit where he figured Shego was watching and shrugged. He had a questioning looking on his face. He turned back to Drakken. "What about the storm over Middleton?"

"Hehehehehehe!" Came the excited laugh. "That will show Kim Possible. There's no way she can link that storm to me but it will ruin her day."

"Somehow I doubt that." Ron muttered. "I bet she's having a pretty good day. Well, night anyway now given how late it is. Or perhaps I should morning. It is four a.m."

Under the console Drakken froze. His head appeared above it. There was a long pause. "Who're you?" He finally asked. "Are you here from Jack Hench to sell me something? Whatever it is I'm not buying. I will soon own the whole world and won't have to pay for anything ever again. Anyway, please show yourself the way out."

Ron looked at the comm unit again. His face showed only bewilderment. He mouthed the words, "Is he for real?" and pointed at Drakken.

Down in her room Shego covered her face with her hands. She didn't know whether to laugh or cry. She just knew Drakken would be doing some crying later on.

**Jacklyn - twenty minutes ago**

* * *

Sitting in the jet was boring. The young woman, used to the excitement of flight was bored to tears. Not to mention she really really really needed to pee. She had been sitting in the jet for over twelve hours now, having been on a routine patrol mission even before she had had her orders changed to being a simple chauffeur. Not that it had been too bad. The guy wasn't too bad looking, certainly not great, but not too bad. Her controls allowed her to monitor the cargo hole and she had watched the guy she was ferrying around for a bit.

She had considered him insane when he had jumped out into such stormy weather several times. Yet each time he manged to survive, somehow. Snatching him out of the storm had been fun, and his compliments had pleased her. Usually the people she ferried around didn't notice just how much skill such flying took. Of course his own skill to crash land a glider in a storm and then get back in the air left her pretty speechless. The glider which should have been wrecked a half dozen time over had only taken minor damage. And he had managed the repairs himself with no trouble. She could tell the instructions he had asked for had only been a distraction.

He had entered the lair of villain after villain and emerged with said villain's plot somehow foiled as thought it was nothing. Though he was certainly taking a lot longer at this lair then he had at the others. She really really needed to pee. A monitor came to life in front of her.

"Any word on him?" Asked a kid who looked younger than her baby brother. This kid looked worried. Real worried.

"Sorry." She replied. She wondered if this lair was so much more dangerous than the other four. The image disappeared. She really really needed to pee. She hoped the guy was okay.

"That idiot Will Du!" She muttered vehemently. For long duration flights a jet like she was flying was supposed to have some means for the pilot to handle the situation she was in. Will Du had considered it excess weight and had removed it from the final plans for the jet. Which left her in this situation. She cursed his name a few times.

She looked outside. The weather, inside this bizarre calm area, wasn't at all bad. The rules forbade her to leave the jet, but she really really needed to pee. "Damn that Will Du!" She cursed. Not that she hadn't gotten back at him a few times. She had been charged with ferrying him around six times in recent months. Each time he left the jet he had been green. Really green. Each time she had claimed turbulence. After all, who could prove otherwise. She groaned, pressing her legs together. Next time, she decided, he will be greener. He'll set a new definition for what it means to be green.

Not that it helped her now. It was either go in her suit or go outside. She considered the danger. The jet was cloaked. No one could see it. Once she left its shelter she would be outside of the cloaking device. On the other hand what were the odds? And it would be just a minute.

She had just finished fixing her flight suit and would have back inside the jet in seconds when the hand grabbed her. She screamed, startled. She struggled. Against an ordinary person she would have been the victor easily. Against a machine she didn't have a chance.

**Drakken - Current Time**

* * *

Drakken was staring at Ron, expecting him to quietly walk out. He wondered why the young man seemed so frustrated. "I'm not buying anything." He repeated.

Ron bowed his head and slapped his forehead in frustration. "Look ..." He started to say.

Two synthodrones, with the figure of Jacklyn between them, marched into the lab.

Drakken's eyes lit up. "Kim Possible ..." He yelled before his voiced faded. "You're not Kim Possible." He finally added. "Who're you?" He looked around. "And just where is Shego?"

"Hey Jacklyn. What are you doing here? Shouldn't you be safely tucked away inside that jet?" Ron asked.

"Is she from Jack Hench too?" Drakken asked.

"I'm not from Jack Hench." Ron stated.

"Oh. Who are you them?"

"Ron Stoppable." Ron answered.

"Who?" Drakken seemed genuinely puzzled.

Ron bowed his head, obviously frustrated. He looked towards Jacklyn.

"I needed to pee." She admitted. Obviously embarrassed. And a little frightened.

"Oh. Would have thought a jet would have facilities for that?" Ron questioned.

"Should. But Will Du got rid of them. He considered it excess weight."

Ron sighed. "That's Will Du for you."

Jacklyn studied him for a few seconds. Her fear diminished a bit as she noted he seemed more frustrated than fearful. Flying insane missions didn't phase her at all. The current situation on the other hand was new to her.

Ron turned back to Drakken. "Look, I'm running out of time here. Shego is going to be free soon and I would rather not fight her again. Just have the blasted synthodrone attack me. Okay?" He looked at the synthodrones and did his best to hide his fear. That they looked like monkeys was getting to him. He gulped, trying to hide the fact he did so.

Drakken froze. Shego? Fight? "Where's Shego?" He asked. "Who are you?"

Ron sighed. "This is crazy." He muttered. And he couldn't move from his current spot if he expected his plan to work. "Does the word Buffoon ring any bells?" He asked the mad villain.

Drakken blinked. "You're the Buffoon!" He yelled.

"Finally." Ron muttered.

Drakken turned to the nine idle synthodrones patiently awaiting orders in the corner. "Capture the Buffoon." He ordered, pointing at Ron.

The nine moved as one. Nine monkey-faced synthodrones. Ron felt his knees go weak. The blood drained from his face. He held his position. The nine, moving in a three by three column, struck the wire Ron had set that seemed, to him, ages ago. Ron didn't have the strength to fight nine synthodrones so he let the synthodrones do the work for him. The wire was much sharper than any razor and the strength in the synthodrone's legs was much greater than Ron's own strength. The first three had their legs removed at the knees. The second set of three, with the boosted reflexes Drakken had programmed in them tried to stop, but still had the wire slice in their legs enough to cause green goo to flow uncontrollably out, deflating them. The third set of three had plenty of time to stop. Which they did, but the floor, slippery in the green goo caused them to slip. All three fell over on the wire and were bisected at the waist.

Drakken stared.

"Well, that takes care of that. Phase two completed." Ron stepped forward and using the pliers snipped away the wire. "Wouldn't want anyone to get hurt." He explained as he did so.

Drakken stared.

Ron looked at Jacklyn. "Not sure how my plan will handle you. Didn't expect those two to be in here." He pointed at the two synthodrones holding her.

"Sorry." She squeaked, looking at what seemed to be nine man-monkey corpses with green blood.

"Oh don't worry about those." Ron reassured her. "They're just machines. Not actually people or monkeys."

"Oh."

"Now it should soon be time for phase three. Just not sure how it will handle those two... Oh well. Better take care of them before Shego gets here." Ron raced at the two synthodrones holding Jacklyn." Not having been given orders to release Jacklyn their programming didn't know what to do.

Ron ran madly, sprinting, getting up all the momentum he could, charging the synthodrone on her left. It raised one hand to block him which he halfway dodge. It got a hold of his jersey but not him. Ron rammed the needle nosed pliers into its head with all the strength he had. They penetrated and green goo shot out, the pressure sending it halfway across the room.

The programming of the last synthodrone reanalyzed the situation and Ron was defined as threat number 1. It let go of Jacklyn who stumbled back, away from it. Ron slipped his leg between that of the synthodrone and lets own momentum as it turned, trying to focus on Ron, trip it. It probably wouldn't have worked if not for the green goo underfoot. Ron had been sure to place he feet where the floor was clean. The synthodrone didn't. It fell and Ron fell with it, wrapping his arms around it, carefully placing the piles so that the synthodrones own weight help their needle sharp tip pierce its body. The last of the synthodrone died as more green goo covered the floor.

"Good." Ron said as he stood back up. "Plan back on course." He smiled. He was really really glad to be rid of those monkey-faced synthodrones.

"You know the way back out?" He asked Jacklyn who was now standing near the doorway that she had been dragged in through.

She nodded.

"Okay. When the self-destruct starts, just run for the jet okay."

She nodded.

"Like hell." Shego's voice came from the far side of the lair. "You're insane if you think I'm letting you set off the self-destruct." She was practically growling.

"Shego! You're late. Where were you?" Drakken asked. Then he pointed at the Buffoon. "Stop him."

"With pleasure." Shego's eyes glowed with said pleasure at the thought of what she was going to do to the Buffoon.

"You're late." Ron simply said.

Shego paused. "Late? You're still here. Seems like I got here just in time."

"Nay, Shego. Couldn't start phase three of my plan until you arrived.

Shego felt sweat run down her back. "Phase three." She asked, reluctantly.

"Yeah. You don't think I would have set off the self-destruct until you were free do you? Had to wait until you showed up." He studied her. Trying to keep from staring too much. The memory of her nude ran through his mind. He sighed.

"Stop staring." She roared at him. The flames around her hands grew larger.

Given how white she was Ron wondered just how much more plasma she could muster. Not that she needed plasma to handle him. "Sorry." He said. "Anyway. As I was saying phase three required you to be here. Hurting people really isn't my forte. Plus. " Ron pointed at Drakken. "I'm not sure he's got the wits to run with the self-destruct counting down."

"Hey, Buffoon! You take that back." Drakken turned to Shego. "Get him."

Shego approached him. "Only problem is there is no self-destruct counting down." She grinned at him. "In fact there is no self-destruct. I had Drakken deactivate it."

"About that." Ron simply said and let his fingers, resting on a button he could feel through his pants pockets, push the button.

WARNING - SELF DESTRUCT IN TWENTY SECONDS, NINETEEN, EIGHTEEN, ...

Shego stared.

Ron shrugged. "Set it up while waiting. Wireless link. You better get him out of here." He pointed at Drakken.

Shego sighed. Nodded. Grabbing Drakken she ran from the lair.

Ron turned and ran too.

THIRTEEN, TWELVE, ...

He ran. A person can cover a lot of distance in twelve seconds and he put his mad running skills to good use. Jacklyn had started running as soon as the countdown started. He hoped she really did know the way back out. He hoped he did. It had been a while since he had looked through that Jack Hence catalogue.

FIVE, FOUR, ...

The exit flashed past him and he was out in the open. Jacklyn he saw was around twenty meters ahead of him. He would have sighed in relief if not for the effort of running. Behind him the lair seemed to collapse in on itself.

A minute later Jacklyn was in the cockpit and he was in the cargo hole whose doors had just opened up for him. Ten seconds later they were in the air.

Ron ran a weary hand through his hair. He pulled out the Kimmunicator and opened a link to Wade.

"You okay Ron." Came the expect query from the Kimmunicator.

Ron nodded. "Drakken won't be using that lair any more Wade." He let his head rest back against the side of jet. It was padded and way comfy. He blinked. A thought came to him.

"Good work Ron. You sure you're really okay?" Wade asked.

Ron shrugged. '"I'm okay Wade. Got a question for Jacklyn though. Can you link me through to her?"

"She can hear everything that happens in the cargo hole Ron, and reply too." Wade answered.

"Oh." Ron wondered why he was surprised.

"You have a question?" The voice came from a device above him, sounding tiny.

"You said Will Du took out some ... err ... facilities to save on weight right?"

"Yeah." Came the reply. It didn't sound very pleased.

"If weight was such an issue why is there so much padding back here? Even half of this would be enough for comfort."

"Not according to Will Du. When he took out those facilities he added back four times the weight in padding back there. He likes his comfort when he travels and that's where he usually is when I've got to ferry him around."

"That sucks!" Ron commented.

"Tell me about it. He also modified the pilot's seat. We fly missions as long as twenty hours or more. After that length of time these seats hurt."

Ron felt sorry for the girl.

He turned back to Wade. "How's Global Justice doing against WEE?"

"Battle's over. WEE was almost totally eliminated. Sheldon got away and will probably rebuild, but he will have to rebuild from scratch."

"That's good." Ron was pleased. "So, they can handle any new missions that come up?"

"Yeah. DR. Director is getting things sorted out and has some manpower to spare. No more missions for the night. Jacklyn should have you back home in five minutes. And thanks to the weather machine being destroyed the storm over Middleton has cleared."

Ron sank back into the comfortable padding in relief. He wondered how comfortable Jacklyn was. He wondered why he couldn't get her out of his mind.

**Back to Middleton**

* * *

The jet settled down behind the Stoppable's house. It was a tight fit.

Ron prepared to jump the two feet to the ground when a voice interrupted him.

"Mind if I get some water?" Jacklyn asked. Her voice still sounding tiny as it came from the hidden device in the ceiling..

"Of course." Ron answered. "For such superb piloting you can have whatever you want." He jumped to the ground and watched the cockpit open. Jacklyn climbed out. She seemed pretty uncomfortable. Moving carefully as if she ached. Ron remembered how she had mention the pilot's seat was uncomfortable.

"You know there's more than water in the house. We have any number of different type of coffee and tea, not to mention fruit drinks and soda. Your choice."

She pulled off her helmet and smiled. A tired smile but it almost knocked Ron off his own two tired feet.

"A drink would be nice. But I need the water to wash things down here. Need to get rid of that green goo, whatever it is, before it affects the electronics. Had some on my suit. GJ is getting back on its feet but the nearest functional hanger for this sort of jet is still over an hour away."

"Oh. There's an hose there if cold water will do. Or do you need warm water for it?"

"No. Cold is best. Too much heat on some of those controls isn't good." She paused. _He must be as tired as I am,_ she thought. _He might not have been in that seat like I was but he saw quite a bit of action handling those villains. And it was late here before we even started that. Still much as I hate to bother him a drink would be nice. _You have any strawberry tea? She asked, voice almost pleading.

Ron grinned. "We do. I will be back out with some in a few minutes. Cold or hot?"

"Cold. Thanks!." She replied. There was appreciation in her voice.

Ron backed away. He was confused. Really confused. This girl had the same affect on him as Kim did.

Inside the house he prepared the tea and looked through the list of leftovers in the fridge. He was famished.

Taking the tea outside he saw Jacklyn washing not the inside of the cockpit but the outside of her suit. He watched her running a rag over the suit, noting how the suit formed a perfect fit for her body. He swallowed. "Here's the tea." He handed her the cup and she took a sip.

"Heavenly." She sighed. "Thirteen hours in that poor excuse for a seat, with nothing to drink or eat, is torture." She took another sip, sighed again, and placed the cup on the wing of the jet. She continued washing, working to get the drying goo off her suit.

Ron swallowed and looked elsewhere. He peered into the cockpit. It was pretty fancy. No movable control but a ton of touch screens. He saw where the green goo had spread from her suit to some of the controls and the seat. "Sorry about the green goo."

Jacklyn shrugged. "My fault for getting out of the jet. If I had remained inside it wouldn't have happened." She opened a flap on the collar of her suit and pressed a few buttons. Seconds later a light showed up green. "Suit's all clean." She smiled and, taking the cup from the wing of the jet, took another sip before returning it.

"Hungry?" Ron asked.

"Famished." Jacklyn replied, automatically, without thinking. She really was. She had been about to eat when the call went out that GJ was under attack. She had been ordered into the jet. She wondered if the fact that she had spent the first several hours doing nothing but circling one of the bases been a ruse to keep her out of danger. Still young she knew she wasn't seen as a full member of GJ yet. GJ might use prodigies such as herself but it didn't like putting them in too much danger.

"Any place in town open at this hour where I can get a bite?" She asked.

Ron shrugged, trying to be nonchalant. He pointed towards the house. "I'm about to eat. Pretty famished myself. A ton of leftovers in the fridge that you can pick from. Or if you wish I can put together something."

"I can't impose like that. Just point me to a place. You must be tired." She really didn't want to impose.

Ron shrugged. "Well, I'm going to eat anyway, so it's no wasted effort on my part. And there are way too many leftovers in the fridge. You might as well grab something here. No restaurant or anything like that open in Middleton at this hour." He eyed the jet. "Of course it would only take you a minute or so to get to Upperton and they got tons of places open at this hour. None that I know of though. Not a place I go to often."

"You sure." She sounded reluctant.

Ron nearly sighed. Didn't she trust his food? Or him? Was he that repulsive that sitting down to a meal with him was above and beyond the call of duty? "A meal isn't much to pay someone back for saving your life several times. Or for giving you a lift all around the world." He finally answered.

"Saving your life several times?" She seemed puzzled.

"Well you did pluck me out of the air a few times. If you hadn't I would have been forced to crash land again." He explained.

"You got the crash landing part pretty much aced though." She smiled.

Ron felt weird as he smiled back. "Just come in when you're done here. Door leads right into the kitchen. I'm going to get rid of the green goo I got on myself." He fled the area. Inside he took a quick five minute shower and grabbed a change of clothes. A quick check on Rufus showed him to be sound asleep, platter of cheese empty.

Back in the kitchen he took another look in the fridge. He finally decided on the Crispy Chicken Leg Confit with Couscous and Olives he had made earlier that day along with a simple salad. He put the chicken in the microwave and hit a few buttons. Two minutes later he saw a head of brown hair poke its way inside the door. Jacklyn was sniffing the air as she entered.

"What's that?" She asked. "It smells divine."

"Crispy Chicken Leg Confit with Couscous and Olives." Ron answered. There's enough for two if you wish."

She nodded. This she just had to try. She held the empty cup in her hand until Ron pointed to a pot sitting on the counter top. She refilled the cup and took a sip. It was good tea.

"Sit anywhere." Ron pulled the chicken from the microwave. Taking two plates he evenly split the leftover chicken.

Both he and Jacklyn dug into the food with glee. The fridge door was opened twice more and two more lots of leftovers were taken out to be microwaved before both were full and satisfied.

Jacklyn stared at the fridge, wondering why it held so many different types of exotic food. When Ron had opened the door and listed the options she had he had listed everything from Mexican food to Chinese to Japanese, to French, to ... Well just about every type of food she could imagine.

She yawned. She looked through the door to the livingroom and saw a couch. She sighed. She couldn't help herself. "Can I crash there?" She had reluctantly asked. Lack of sleep combined with food made sleep a necessity she could no long ignore.

Ron lead in his bed, trying to sleep. Thoughts of Kim combined with thoughts of Jacklyn, not to mention Shego. He sighed. He knew why he was thinking about Shego. Pure lust. He knew why he was thinking about Kim. He was crushing on her. What he didn't know was why he was thinking about Jacklyn. Sure she was pretty, but there were a billion girls in the world who were pretty. If this is what it meant to be a hormonal teenager he could do without. Before there were hormones things were simple. Eat. Sleep. School. Mission. Kim. Rufus. Simple. Now things were complicated. He sighed, and eventually drifted off to sleep. His dreams were of the girl sleeping on the couch.

**Morning After**

* * *

At ten a.m Kim turned on her Kimmunicator. She and Josh were finishing up a late breakfast, but then they had been up late. Very late. She figured it had been off long enough. If Wade had tried to contact her having it off would have worried him. The immediate beeping made her regret turning it on.

"Wade." She greeted the super genius as he appeared on the screen.

"Kim where were you? I tried to contact you over a hundred times last night and your Kimmunicator was off. Things were hectic. WEE attacked Global Justice and Ron ..." The super genius paused. There was no way he could tell Kim Ron had went on missions alone. She would kill him. Slowly. Painfully.

"What about Ron?" Kim was immediately in mission mode. "Is he hurt? Did he do something stupid? Did he get hurt when WEE attacked Global Justice? How could that happen? He isn't part of Global Justice." She was also in panic mode.

"He's okay Kim. Totally fine. It's just that when I kept asking him where you were he kept refusing. I'm pretty sure he knew but why would he refuse to tell me when there was a mission?" Wade went with a half lie. It was true Ron had refused to tell him where Kim was, he didn't need to mention Ron going on missions.

Kim paused, thinking. "You really think he knew where I was?"

Wade nodded. "I'm pretty sure."

"Damn!" She couldn't help saying.

"Kim?" Wade was confused.

"How could he have known Wade?" She asked.

"No clue Kim, I don't even know where you were." Wade was frustrated.

"You spoke with Ron last night? Where was he?" She wondered if Ron had followed her. The thought made her furious. Sort of. She knew how bad a crush was. After all wasn't that how things had started between her and Josh. She had nearly lost her life just for the sake of a date. Would have if Ron had not come through for here. If he had followed her she would talk to him about it. Try to make him understand. She sighed.

Wade thought for a few moments. Something weird was going on and he didn't have a clue what it was. "He was at the Middleton High gym when I first called him. That was around nine."

_Nine? _Kim thought. If that was the case then she doubted Ron had followed her. She and Josh had left the gym a little after eight.

"You sure he knew where I was?" She asked again.

"Wade nodded. I asked him where you were and he said it would take an hour or so to find you. So he knew something."

Kim nodded. "Can you open a **private** line to him Wade?"

The super genius nodded. "Openning now."

Kim waited, hearing the faint sound of the beeps but knew they were on Ron's Kimmunicator and not her own.

It was a weary eyed Ron that answered her. "Hey KP. What's up?"

Kim's heart jumped. She nearly cried. Ron hadn't called her KP in months. Now all their time together was spent fighting about Josh. During those fights KP had somehow morphed into Kim. "Hey Ron. You look pretty tired."

The image of Ron nodded. "Was up too late. You know, the storm and everything." He didn't mention the missions. He knew better not to.

"Ah." Kim replied. She didn't know how to ask what she wanted to ask. Didn't know if she wanted to. The sound of KP sounded so sweet and she didn't want to mess things up.

Ron stare at the girl he had known for so long. Long enough to read like a book. "KP."

Kim looked back. "Yeah." She replied. Ron had a sort of mischievous grin on his face. Something she hadn't see in a long time.

"Next time want to buy something you don't want anyone to know about make sure they aren't standing two feet away from you."

"What do you mean two feet away ..." What he meant hit her. "Oh. You saw ... that."

"And a green wig? What were you thinking?" He shook his head. "I wish I had taken a picture. Tim and Jim would have had a field day over that."

"I bet." She muttered smiling. She got serious. "Was there a mission last night?" She asked.

Ron nodded. "I told Wade you weren't available for it. Not sure if that was the right call but it's what I did. Sorry if I made the wrong call KP."

"No. Seems the world didn't fall apart. Thanks Ron." She felt like crying. She stared back at the person who she loved like a brother. Whom she would always trust and love. Just not in the way he wanted her too.

"Going to have to do something about it Kim."

"Huh?" Kim wasn't sure what he meant.

"Hrm. Something like different priorities on the Kimmunicator. Something you can set so you can ignore everyday regular missions when you need time with monke ... with Josh. But something that will allow Wade to contact you when it's a real emergency that can't be ignored."

"Ah." She understood. "Sorry for making you make such a decision Ron."

"No big, KP. Just glad it was the right call. Would have hated to make the wrong called and woke up to Drakken ruling the world."

Kim shuddered. "That would be a nightmare."

Ron yawned. "Anyway, I'm either going back to sleep or eat breakfast. See you later KP."

"Take care Ron." She closed the connection.

Ron stared at the Kimmunicator for a long before putting it away. He knew Kim's love was absolute. She would risk her life for him in an instant, no questions asked. He knew his for her was just as absolute. He also knew when to let dreams fade. Kim would be a sister to him, never a lover. For some reason the truth didn't hurt as much as he thought it would.

He passed the sleeping form on the couch and smiled. He wondered what the future would bring.

Inside the kitchen he got a half dozen eggs from the fridge and cracked them. His movements were sure and precise. In the kitchen he was a master. Herbs and spices were gather from their various places without having to look. Other ingredients joined the eggs as he mixed and stirred.

A brown head poked its way inside the livingroom door. Bright blue eyes sought out the frying pan. He could tell she was drooling. "Breakfast is ready."

"Breakfast?" She asked, wondering. "I should be getting back to GJ." Her eyes never left the frying pan.

A minute later she was sat down, across from him, gobbling down eggs.

**The End**

* * *

Somehow these stories never seem to end the way I plan them too. I never planned on creating the character Jacklyn but somewhere along the way I asked, 'just who is piloting this plane' and viola, she was born. Then with her birth the plot twisted on me. Originally I had planned on leaving open the possibility that Kim and Ron would at a later date become a couple. I ended up squashing that idea though it seems.

I apologize for the typos and spelling mistakes. I did go through the story a few times, but I always seem to miss something.


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